Chapter 15; Don't leave

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Felix POV.
Today was Chans third day off from work, I really like to spent time with my brother but I kind of miss Binni. He doesn't even replies to my text messages anymore, he just leaves me on read. Well it shouldn't really bother me because I'm just another patient that he have to take care of, I'm not a special person for him. But I really want to talk to him, It's always funny with him and he really has a personality that can cheer me up.

I was sitting on the couch in the living room, Chan was cooking something for us and I was again on my phone checking if Binni didn't send me a message, but nothing. I sighed and shut my phone off for the nth time in just an hour. "Why are you sighing all this time ?" Chan put his wooden spoon away and sat down on the couch beside me. I shrugged "Ah it's nothing...uhm but Chan, can I go outside after lunch, please?" I don't really know where I want to go to, but I just need to go anywhere out of my room. Out of this suffocating house. Chan eyed me "Where do you wanna go?" I told him, that I just want to go to the near park with the pond. "Who is going with you ? You aren't going alone anywhere Lix. In this state your too vulnerable, what If someone-"

"But this state, is my state in where I will be for my rest of life Chan. And it's all about IF's." I don't know why but suddenly I felt frustrated and a wave of Anger got over me. "You didn't let me yesterday alone to the Skater park, Hell you didn't even wanted me to go alone to bring the newspaper in. You can't chain me up to you, or lock me in my room all the time."

"What if you want to cross the Street but your wheelchair will get stuck on the middle of the street and a trucker wont see you there, do you want that?"

"YES, I WOULD GLADLY ACCEPT THAT. I would be free from this stupid wheelchair I-"

"What are you talking about...are you insane..." Chan whispered strictly and narrowed his eyes. By now Chan was holding my hands in his warm ones. He looked me into the eyes with so much hurt in them, that I could feel all my wounds burning like fire. His eyes got glassy and his hands started to tremble.

I sighed "Is this a life Chan. I'm just sitting all the time, my hobbys are destroyed, my dream to be a profi hip hop dancer is just a hopeless dream now and people just look at me with pity or disgust and you... my own brother want to protect me but instead you just lock me up in this god damn house where I already saw all this boring walls all the time. I feel suffocated by these 4 Walls. It's Hell for me. This isn't a happy Life." I couldn't look into his eyes anymore. Slowly I wanted to get my hands out of his grasp but Chan just tightened his grip, as if he would let me go, he wouldn't see me ever again. If i would disappear and leave him alone.

No one POV.
Slowly hot tears run down Chans cheeks. A barely audible "I'm sorry" leaved Chans chapped lips. His voice was shaking. He repeated the small sentence more than once, like a broken record.

No one POV.
"You w-won't leave me right ?" The older asked with hopeful eyes. Silence.
"Felix?" Again silence
Chan looked up to see his younger brother, with tears running down over his freckles.
"L-lix." Chan let the younger hands go and wrapped his arms around his crying brother. He was scared that his brother want to commit suicide. It's one of the reasons why he doesn't want to let his brother go out alone, he noticed that Felix wasn't as lively and happy as before. But he never wanted to let the thought be confirmed.

Felix wrapped his arms around Chan as well and continued to cry on his shoulder. The younger grabbed the back of Chans shirt as if his life would depend on it.

Chan stroked the back of the younger and glanced at the wall behind them. He smiled a little bit when he saw the polaroid picture with the two of them back in Australia. He received the picture as his birthay gift from Felix.

 He received the picture as his birthay gift from Felix

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He couldn't let this sunshine go. Never.

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I'm really sorry that this chapter is so short.

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