My pain, my boy | E.G.D

three; three strikes, you're out

suggested song: come out and play - billie eilish
listen on repeat

selena's pov

"why are you here?" i asked him as we walked to my car.

"because, i know contacts can't glow if the pictures blurred." he laughed.

i didn't laugh, i was annoyed at myself, "i knew i shouldn't have listened to jack."

"jack?"

i laughed awkwardly, "he's been letting me stay at his place whilst i've been hiding from you. when i saw you in new york, i realised how alone i was and how i needed someone. i came to london to see if i could restart my life here and i ran into jack."

he rolled his eyes, "i never liked jack but as long as you're okay."

"what about emma? isn't she your new..?" i asked.

"no she's not." he said firmly. "she was helping me out with some anger issues and the way to get rid of anger is through touch and that's how the rumour started."

"oh."

it was about 8pm and i needed to get the groceries in my car home, "ethan, i need to take some stuff home."

"let me help." he told me.

i knew he wanted to, but if he saw jack he'd probably kill him, "just wait in the car and we'll go talk somewhere." i smiled.

he nodded in agreement. we both got into the car and i started driving.

—————

around an hour later, ethan and i ended up at a park.

we walked in silence, comfortable silence.

i couldn't believe i blew my cover, i was angry at myself but i was also kinda happy that i did.

"when are you leaving?" i asked.

"i just got here! so not for a long while yet."

"where are you staying?"

"in a hotel, why?"

"just asking."

i felt tense knowing he was staying, i still hadn't done what i wanted to do, "when you leave, please don't come back till i ask you to."

he was confused, "why? i found you! i can be with you!"

"you can't because... because i'm not ready yet." i told him.

"but i am."

i knew he was ready, he wanted me; i wish i could say the same back but i don't want him to be scared or be hurt by me.

"ethan-"

"i'm on my last strike selena." he cut me off. "this could be the last time i'm allowed to come here."