Going Solo

Part 47

Jin

I had so many questions. I wanted to ask her everything I couldn't at the wedding, now that we were in the car alone.

But I didn't.

Am I being nosy? These aren't really questions you normally ask your subordinates. Then again most people aren't with their subordinates on a Sunday night either.

"You asked me, earlier... what happened. What I'd been through. Its really a rather long story."

"This is... really a rather long drive to your house."

"Its just... Tony was my high school sweetheart. We were... inseparable. And then one day..." she turned towards the window. "A woman showed up at his door before we left for a date."

Her voice was softer now, "To tell him that she was pregnant. With his baby." She said sniffling. She quickly reached up to touch her face, no doubt to wipe a tear. "Sorry," she chuckled. "Its been about two years ago already and... gets me everytime."

"You don't have to apologize." I said.

"Anyway, nine months later the baby was born. At some point I came by to drop off his old stuff and we decided to try it again," Nicole said rubbing her arms.

Except I had secretly hoped that he would... change. I didn't know how. I can't even explain it now, but-"

"You wanted to be sure it wouldn't happen again." I chimed in.

"Exactly. I wanted him to show me somehow that he'd changed and I couldn't get through to him. If I brought it up, he'd accuse me of dredging up the past and... I just felt... convenient. I didn't feel loved, not the way I want. So I ended it. That was only five months ago." She finished, arms still crossed and hands still rubbing.

I finally stopped at an intersection's red light and struggled to get my suit jacket off.

"Oh," Nicole said when she realized I might need some help. She reached over to help pull the jacket off my arms,  just as the light turned green.

"Hold that for me will you?" She did. Lifted and neatly folded it on her lap, then preceded to continue rubbing on her goosebumps as if there wasn't a perfectly good jacket right there.

I turned to look at her. Was she dense? I sucked my teeth.

"What?" She asked.

"Put it on." I said reaching over to pull it over her arms. "Aren't you cold? You look like you're trying to start a fire over there the way you're rubbing those arms."

"You could've just... turned on the heat."

"Just put it on already."

"No complaints here, just saying."

"Well don't." I said. "So, only five months ago huh? Does that mean you're not over him?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I'm trying to be."

That was the end of our conversation. I turned on the radio and switched to my presets, Nicole seemed shocked that I listened to jazz.

"I just thought you'd be more of a classical music man."

"Technically Jazz is a derivative form of classical music."

And we listened in silence to soft jazz all the way back to her house.