Until My Last Breath

Chapter 93

Shawn's POV:
„Please help her. Please ...you need to do something." I beg, following the nurses and doctor rushing down the hall.

We near a big white door, being pushed open by them before they roll her unconscious body through it, on the moving hospital bed.

"Baby, can you hear me? Come on, open your beautiful eyes. Rose,
please." I plead, taking her limp hand into mine. I squeeze it gently, hoping for a reaction but she just keeps laying there as lifeless as we acme here.

Panic shoots through my whole body as I see blood starting to come out of her nose, dropping next to her head onto the white sheets.

"What's happening to her? What's going on?" I question, desperately trying to get a word out of at least one of these nurses but they remain silent, hectically pushing her  to another room on the end of the long hall.

"For f*ck sake, can someone tell me what's happening to my girlfriend?" I ask, my voice raised and filled with frustration. Again just silence. Just as I take another step, I'm being stopped by a nurse. „I'm sorry sir but you can't just go in there-."

"What do you mean I can't go in there? I'm her boyfriend! I need to be with her." I panic, attempting to push past her but now a doctor comes into my way too.

"We completely understand that you are worried but we are doing everything we can. You won't be able to help her now. I'm really sorry but you will have to wait." he tells me, his hand on my shoulder to stop me.

I look past him, watching as her figure disappears behind the door, making my body flinch unintentionally. I could feel my rapid heart beat out of my chest and my hands shaking.

I need to be with Rose. I have to tell her that everything is going to be okey. It has to be. „Please, I won't disturb anyone. I just..." I reply, but stop as my voice threatens to crack. „Sir, your girlfriend is going through a emergency operation now. She is in best hands but you can't just go in there."

"It's her heart, isn't it? Is she getting a new one?" I ask. „Maybe that's not even necessary but we have to make sure she is stable and help against her breathing problems. I know it's not easy but all you can do right now, is wait." the doctor explains, before he excuses himself, walking into the opposite direction.

Just wait? I should wait while Rose is in there and god knows what could happen? „Shawn, he is right. I'm sure it will be okey but you have to calm down now." Geoff says, coming up behind me. I chuckle drily as I turn around, shaking my head in disbelief.

"Y-You can't know that." I whisper, moving my uncontrollably trembling hands trough my hair. „Shawn-."

"You were there Geoff! Everything was normal but then she suddenly couldn't breath anymore and turned pale like..." I gulp, not wanting this word to leave my lips. No no.... it can't be. 20 minutes ago everything was fine. „That's not something which just happens regularly!"

"Calm down, okey? We are going to wait and you'll see that it's fine." „Don't tell me to calm down! She could be dying! I could be loosing h-her right now..." I croak out, my limps feeling like jelly as I almost fall into the chair in the waiting area

.............................................................................

My leg bounces up and down nervously as I keep my eyes fixed on the clock, hanging on the plain wall. Two hours, 25 minutes and 12 seconds... have passed by since we came her. It feels surreal.

We were laughing together three hours ago and now she is going through an emergency surgery. The adrenaline which flooded through my veins as she kneeled down in pain, gasping for air slowly faded and reality finally hit me.

Rose is a ticking time bomb. She can go off any minute. Did that happen today or was it just a warning? 34, 35, 36 seconds... My eyes wander across the room, people from all ages standing around or sitting in one of the grey chairs. Impatiently awaiting a doctor to tell them the news about their loved ones.

There's a couple, maybe around 40, standing arm in arm, concerned looks on their faces as he man keeps whispering reassuring nothings into the ear of his girlfriend or wife. Maybe they are waiting for their child or a sister, a brother... A young girl sits cross legged on a chair, headphones in and hands in her pocket.

Probably trying to drown this horrible silence. Silence that can only be broke by that specific person everyone is waiting for.

My gaze stops at an elder man, maybe in his late sixties. Sighing he takes off his head to rub over his half bald gray haired head. He looks desperate and tired of the uncertainty.

Just in the next moment a doctor appears in front of him, a hopeful look creeping onto his face but as soon as the doctor said the first words it vanished. His head sank into his hands and I could see that he was crying.

My heart drops into my stomach. He just lost someone and he can't do a single thing about it. The doctor, places a hand on the man's shoulder, probably saying some reassuring words before walking away like nothing happened.

Like the man didn't just loose a part of him with no chance of getting it back. But who can blame him? Bringing either good news or bad ones has become a daily routine for him.

If he would let him affect it like the people here when they finally know how it stands about there loved ones, he wouldn't be able to live with it.

While for someone breaks down their entire world, it keeps turning for the doctors and nurses here. That's just how it has to be. My world is lying in there somewhere right now.

Maybe fighting for her life but I can't know. No one will tell me until it's either okey or to late and the thought alone causes cold shivers to run down my back, a sick feeling in my stomach. It happened so fast.

Suddenly she was on the floor, too weak to stand on her own. Bt she's strong... and she will be on her feet in no later than three days... maybe four. Then we will be walking trough Boston together, not having a care in the world. I'm sure it will be like that. She can't just leave me, can she?

"Shawn don't be worried. Look." My mom, who came to the hospital in Toronto right after we brought Rose here, says while nodding to the doctor who is approaching us. I immediately stand up, shaking his hand before asking about Rose. "And? How is she? When can I see her?"

"Mr. Mendes, she is stable and will wake up soon. Her condition is okey for now but it probably won't stay like that without a heart transplant.

For now we just need to keep an eye on her. No very stressful situations, no alcohol and things like that and the anxiety attacks and nightmares add to it aswell. We have to make sure they won't happen too often."