Ryden Oneshots

Don't Put All Your Eggs In One Basket

Ryan would laugh at the expression on Spencer's face if he weren't so busy feeling sorry for himself. "I'm proud of you for naming your lunch. Ryan and I are just going to sit over here…" he starts to walk away, and Ryan follows sombrely until Brendon starts walking with them.

"Actually, Spencer, it's my child." He gives Ryan an endearing look. "Our child, to be more correct." Another blinding flash of teeth and Ryan feels like crying. "Didn't Ryan tell you?"

This is the part Ryan hates the most. Spencer's silent for a few seconds, looking between Brendon and Ryan and eyes lingering on the egg. The surprised look on his face gets replaced immediately by one of complete amusement. He laughs and smirks at Ryan. Ryan thinks Spencer is a shitty friend for getting a kick out of his misfortune. "That family life project. You two got paired up because you were late. Oh my god, this is the greatest thing that has ever happened in the history of the world."

Ryan finally finds his voice, says, "I disown our friendship and would like my music magazines back," but his words are hard to hear over Brendon's excited, "I know, isn't it great?"

Spencer bites his lip against a laugh and puts his hand on Ryan's shoulder. "I'd say Brendon's excitement level is at a definite ten, here." Brendon nods enthusiastically. "On a scale of one to ten, how excited—"

"Negative ten million." Ryan shakes his shoulder out of Spencer's grip and walks away to the nearest bathroom. He only wishes he could have taken the egg with him and introduced it to the toilet.

-

"I really think we should get it something to wear, Ryan, cause the whole point of the project is about being able to care for the egg like it's actually a person."

Ryan's knuckles are white as he grips the steering wheel and he resists the overwhelming urge to punch a snickering Spencer sitting right next to him.

"And we should really take some time to make a proper bed for him. I say, since we're gonna do this, we might as well do it right."

Ryan waited ten minutes in Brendon's room that morning for him to get out of the bathroom. He had been drawing a face on the egg and it took all of Ryan's willpower not to grab it and toss it out a window for making Brendon late.

"And what about food? I mean, Eggburt can't actually eat, but we should probably figure something out for the food situation. What kind of food do you think Eggburt would like?"

All Ryan manages to say as he pulls into the parking lot is, "No."

-

It's sickening to see how excited Brendon is during health that morning. Ryan can practically feel the energy radiating off of Brendon and it's disturbing him. The teacher tells the class to break off into their assigned pairs and start filling out worksheets and charts about the egg. Ryan tunes out Brendon's excited chatter for the entire hour. When the bell rings, Ryan is out of there before Brendon finishes asking him if he wants to hold the egg for the rest of the day.

-

"I swear to god, Spencer, the universe is out to get me."

"Uh huh, right." Spencer jabs at his plate of food and takes a bite. "Remind me why we're eating in the bathroom again?"

"Because he'll find me, Spence! Everywhere I turn, he just shows up, holding that stupid egg and asking me if I wanna take care of it. I'd rather wax my pubes or something else less ridiculous. Anything is better than taking care of that fucking egg."

Ryan takes a bite out of his sandwich and makes sure he doesn't set it on the disgusting floor next to him. "You're going to have to deal with the project eventually, dude. He's not going to just do the whole thing on his own. You have a month of this. Eventually he'll realize you're not actually talking back to him when he speaks to you."