~~langst~~ (one shots)

your fault

"You should have died instead of Keith!"

"You were too weak to save him!"

I wander into my room with these word swirling around my head.

I sit down on my bed and pull out my knife.

My arms are too crowded with cuts to use...

The last three weeks have just been numb..

The cuts only work for so long.

I roll up my trousers and start to cut... But it's not working anymore. I can't feel them enough for it to help...

I sit there my heart in pain. I can't fix it.

It won't stop

The cutting isn't helping anymore

I don't know how to fix it now

It so painful

Everything hurts

I take out a piece of paper and a pen and sit in the floor.

--suicide note--

Hey guys...

I'm sorry.

I'm so so sorry...

It's my fault Keith's dead I know... I get that... You can be mad at me. You can be mad at me when im dead too... You can blame me forever then.

Cutting was helping for a while but it's stopped working. It's just numb. I'm just numb. Without Keith... Without my team, I'm lost....

This is how you grieve I get it.... I'm the reason he's dead. It's alright... I know I should have died... Not him.

Not Keith

Thank you for reminding me of that... and for telling me I'm worthless... It helped me accept that this is how my life should end

I love you guys, thank you for everything... I'm going to be with Keith now... I can apologise to him... I'll tell him you love him... And then I'll leave him alone.

I'm sorry.

Pidge thank you....

But I'm sorry death is the only way for me to apologise....

-lance

...

-pidges pov-
I sit on the couch working on Rover.

I'm trying to think of ways I can help lance relise it's not his fault. I've kind of hit a wall though. I've tried so many things at this point but I just want to make him happy and I'm not ready to give up on him yet.

I look up as the door slides open.

"Keith?" I ask in awe.

"Pidge!" He yells running to me. He hugs me and smiles. He has bandages wrapped around his head.

"How are you here!?" I ask excitedly.

"When I fell I survived somehow and I was found by some aliens. They healed me and gave me a ship!" He says excitedly.

"We've all missed you so much!" I squeal happily.

"I have to see lance first. The rest of the team can wait" he says firmly.

I nod, happy tears in my eyes. I'm so happy that Keith is alive. I feel like expoloding.

"You're right. Lance took your death the hardest. He blamed himself. The team blamed him. I tried to convince him it wasn't his fault but" I hesitate.

"The others wouldn't let him believe he was innocent... They told him he should have died instead" I whisper.

I can almost feel Keith's anger beside me.

"But now that you're back lance can be happy and the others will stop!" I say trying to lighten the mood.

Keith nods but I can tell he's still pissed.

I grab his hand and run, pulling him with me.

"You have no idea how happy lance is gonna be!" I giggle "when he sees you he isn't gonna hurt anymore! You can save him!".

We get to his room and knock quickly, bouncing beside Keith.

He doesn't respond so I push open the door, too excited to wait.

"Lance! Keith's...... Back" I trail off....

I stop bouncing and I let my brain process the scene in front of me...

Lance... lying dead in the middle of the floor with a gunshot wound to his stomach....

We were too late

Wooooot! Halloween was yesterday!!! I never made a Halloween special but oh well!!! Here is an extra long chapter instead!! Enjoy!!!
(also 1k votes holy shittt)
-fox