johnny
love. one of the most insane feelings that you can feel for another human being. i hardly ever have love for anyone, so deep that it sends me into depression. i have that for y/n, no one else. i've never felt this way for anyone else including another women.
i bet that she doesn't know that i cry over her every single damn night, missing her grace and her presence. i let her leave, and i should've fucking fought for her.
i still can't wrap my head around why she slapped me, she knows that i always say things that i don't mean. looking back if i could take back everything i said to her i would in a heartbeat.
truly upsetting that it's been three months. i'm not sure of where she actually is but lauren keeps in touch with her and told me that she moved back home. once i didn't go out to look for her, she gave up all hope and left. she blocked my number and she blocked me on every social media.
but, today's her birthday and lauren is supposed to fly her out for a party, at my moms house, but my parents aren't home. it's supposed to just be a bunch of our friends.
i'm sure if she knew i was going to be there she'd never come, but she didn't. part of the surprise i guess.
y/n
i wanted to go back to los angeles i missed it, on my birthday i'd rather not think about what happened the last time i was around. los angeles was filled with nothing but bad memories with because the reason i moved there in the first place was for, johnny. my life was based around him, maybe it was best that we weren't together.
our relationship was very unhealthy. i will admire i will always have feelings for johnny, but my feelings for him will never go as hard for anyone else. actually, if i seen him right now it would probably fuck my head up so bad.
but, here i am face to face with the front door of the orlando's home. the wooden oak door making me reminisce to when i first moved down to toronto and johnny would sneak my in until i met them. the whole first month that we started dating, we kept it a secret. everyone was so happy for us once we made it official to his family and the public eye.
i placed a few swift knocks on the wooden door and i could hear music booming through as i stood on the cement. smelling the ciroc as i stood there. a drunken makenzie flung the door open.
"hey, birthday girl!" she yelled her breath smelling of vodka, everyone screamed once i stepped foot in and she closed the door behind me.
everyone chanting to the song ratchet happy birthday by drake. jumping up and down making me crowd surf. red solo cups being thrown around, one hitting me in a head. a few blunts being passing here and there, the smell filling my lungs up. i was already weak from fumes and i'd just gotten here, guess i just wasn't in the mood. i never really celebrated my birthday anyway.
i took a seat down on the carpeted stairs where nobody was, wanting to just be alone. starting to have the feeling that maybe it was a mistake coming back here. my head started to pound with the loud music sucking me into my thoughts.
a slight tap to my shoulder was felt looking up it was the last person i wanted to see. his hair pushed down to his forehead, glorious dirty blond locks that used to tickle my face and neck when i'd wake up in the morning. his eyes pink and bloodshot, not the shiny green hopeful emeralds that i remember. his face sunken in and disheveled. smelling of nothing but pain and despair.
"can i talk to you out back for a sec?" he whispered into my ear, making my insides turn to mush. i couldn't fall for his tricks again, that's the reason i ended up dating him the first place. the way he flirts, always making me blush and feel all sentimental, shit but he really just wanted me. but, out of the kindness of my heart i decided to have the conversation just to hear him out.
