Ryden Oneshots

(Good In Bed But) Better With Chopsticks

'Dude,' Brent said, staring. 'How do you do that?'

'I am a talented guy,' Brendon said through a mouthful of food, and Ryan grimaced and looked away.

Spencer got up and went over to the counter to get three forks. 'This is so embarrassing,' he said, returning and grinning at Brendon. 'I'm the one who did Japanese for three years.'

'You've got to have the gift,' Brendon told them thickly.

Ryan rolled his eyes and stabbed vengefully at his noodles with the fork Spencer gave him. He couldn't help but feel it was cheating, doing this. It was like watching an arthouse movie with subtitles to catch the dialogue. Ryan was doing his best to cultivate an interesting persona, and he had a feeling that an inability to use chopsticks was not an attribute he should encourage. He certainly didn't see why he couldn't do it when Brendon so clearly found it the easiest thing in the world.

He glanced up to see Brendon watching him, still eating, still using his chopsticks. Ryan made a face and Brendon winked at him, so fast that Ryan almost missed it. He didn't miss it, though, and his heart sped up at the sight.

2.

'I'm just saying,' persisted Brendon, 'tour would have been completely different if it had been cherry blossoms rather than roses.'

'No,' said Ryan, 'it wouldn't.'

'Because?'

'Because it was never about the type of flower: it was about using flowers as a representation of society's expectations for gender norms, and confronting those expectations in a way that was accessible to everyone.'

'So it was about the roses, then.'

'No,' repeated Ryan, rolling his eyes, then smiled up at the tiny waitress walking up to them with a tray between her hands.

'What if they'd been carnations?' Jon asked with interest, 'they're practically roses.'

Ryan stared at him over his bowl of soup. 'No, they're not,' he said, 'and please let me be there when you give a girl carnations on Valentine's Day, but you're still missing the point.'

'The point that you like wearing roses more than cherry blossoms?'

Ryan rolled his eyes at Brendon. 'Can you pass me the chopsticks?'

Brendon blinked. 'The chopsticks.'

'Yes, the chopsticks.'

'... have you forgotten last time you tried to eat with them?' Brendon looked politely incredulous.

'We've been in Japan for a week and a half, I'm pretty sure I'll be able to use them by now.'

Spencer snorted. 'By what, osmosis?'

Ryan frowned at Spencer and pointed one of his chopsticks at him threateningly. 'Shut up,' he said, 'I am totally a Chopstick Master.'

Spencer leant back and snagged a pair of forks from a passing waitress. 'Okay,' he said, and handed the extra fork to Jon. 'Whatever you say.'

Ryan looked down at his bowl of noodles, determined not to be daunted. It was just a matter of going into it with the right attitude, he decided, and whatever, Spencer didn't know anything. Ten days in Japan was totally enough time to get into the right frame of mind.

He picked up his chopsticks, balancing them awkwardly between his first and middle finger, then swore as one of them slipped out of his grasp. 'Don't say it,' he said to the table, 'at least I'm trying, you cowards.'