MICAH’S POV….
“CAN YOU BE MY GIRLFRIEND?” A very simple question yet, I can’t answer. I think, I lost my tongue…nalulon ko ba? God, please tell me I’m dreaming…this can never be happening. Jinn is courting me? But she is a girl…a woman…babae…female…waaaaah…ano bang nangyayari? Bakit????
“Jinn, are you ok? Baka tumaas ang lagnat mo? Tanong ko sabay salat sa kanyang noo. Baka mataas lang lagnat mo kaya ka naghahalucinate”.
“Micah for Godsake I’m serious…hindi ako naghahalucinate. Can’t you see, I’m head over heels inlove with you…noon pa! Kaya lang..dyahi nga kasi…straight ka. I’m afraid to take the first move. Baka magalit ka. But I’m damn serious about this. Please don’t be angry or take this as a joke”.
“You are in love with me?” tanong ko ulit. Tumango lang siya.
“Mahal mo ako? Hahaha you’re really kidding. This is just one of your crazy jokes. Huwag ka ngang ganyan uyy…”
“Ayaw mong maniwala?”, tanong niya.
I was caught by surprise ng bigla niya akong hatakin at halikan sa labi. Yes! Sa lips…Napakalambot ng labi niya, and what should I expect, babae nga siya eh. Ang bango rin ng hininga, mixed mint at lasang noodles…She brushed her lips to mine, as if trying to test if papalag ako…Paano pa nga ba makapapalag? Nabigla ako at nanghina na pati ang tuhod. I think I lost all my energy. My head is spinning and all I can think of is the thrilling sensation that overcomes my whole being. This is my first kiss…I never been kissed, never been touched. This is very new to me. I was not able to control myself, I kissed her back…tama ba yon? Kissed her back? Eh sa hinalikan ko rin siya. I heard her moaning softly. She tried to open my mouth with her tongue…paano ba? Ganito ba talaga ang mag kiss? Im so naïve I just act on instinct. I opened my mouth and welcome her tongue. Lalong lumalim ang kanyang halik. I tried to return the favor by sucking her lower lip. I feel she hugged me closer. This is heaven…I told myself. I feel her right hand on my back giving a soft massage. I feel my body slowly relaxing. She slowly sucked my tongue and I feel my whole body tremble. Totoo pala na parang lumilindol pag hinahalikan ka. Niyakap ko na rin siya ng mahigpit as if trying not to let her go.
But this wrong! A part of me tells me this is wrong! Pareho kaming babae..anong sasabihin ng mga kaibigan namin? Ng mga classmates namin? Ng mga family namin…specially ni Papa? Si Papa! God! Papa will kill me! I break the kiss at biglang tinulak si Jinn. Nabigla rin siya pero di naman nagalit.
“I’m sorry Jinn, I can’t do this. This is all wrong!”
“But you love me Micah, tell me you love me! I can feel it! You responded to my kisses!”
Kisses??? Plural? Ibig sabihin marami? Marami ba talaga yon? Parang di ko na alam and to think it’s just a couple of seconds ago. All I know is… it feels so good! I can’t deny it. But I did deny it from her!
“No! Nabigla lang ako. This is all a big mistake. Never na papatol ako sa isang kagaya kung babae. I’m sorry Jinn.” She tried to hold me pero umiwas ako.
“Mic…please don’t do this. I love you…” ang mangiyak-ngiyak niyang tawag sa akin.
Pero hindi na ako nakinig. Dali-dali kung kinuha ang mga gamit ko at patakbong bumaba ng bahay. I am very angry! I am very angry with myself! I should have stopped her from the very beginning. Umiiyak akong umuwi ng boarding house. I hate this feeling…I’m hurting inside. I’m so angry with myself, I hate the situation but I can’t ever hate her. Alam kung sobra ko siyang nasaktan but I can’t gamble my future with this kind of relationship. Mali! Talagang mali! Kahit saan ko tingnan maling-mali ang maging kami. Ibubuhos ko ang lahat ng sama ng loob ko sa pagluha ngayong gabi. The pain is so much to bear coz I know, I’m inlove with her too…but I have to stop it!
BINABASA MO ANG
A Choice or Destiny?
RomanceFive years ago, Jinn courted her...but Micah being a conservative and obedient daughter turned her down thinking that being involved with a lesbian is a taboo...brokenhearted, Jinn left and Micah returned to her normal life Now...five years later...
