Addicted to His Love

1 Year Later

Gold

"I'm not ready to do this with you, can you just understand that for me?" I asked him.

He stood up coming towards me and I swear I almost fainted. I was nervous as shit and felt like I would piss in my pants.

"Gold you've got to move on! He would want you too move on! It's been a year, c'mo--

I raised my head from my fingers and looked at him in his light brown eyes with tears in my eyes.

"If you loved me the way you say you do, you would understand that I'm not ready for that! You holla' every fyckin' day that you love me and my kids and you would wait for when I'm ready, but look at how your actin'," I yelled looking at him with tears dropping out of eyes. I wiped them roughly waiting for his response when all I heard was the ringing of my cell phone.

I didn't even look at who was calling because I was too busy looking into his eyes.

I put the phone on my ear and sighted.

"What and who is th--

"IM IN FUCKING LABOR! COME TO THE HOSPITAL ON FIFTH NOW! RIGHT NOW! HURRY THE FUCK UP DEVIN," Shanie cried in my ear.

I immediately hung up the phone and rushed to my closet, grabbing anything to put on to see my niece be born.

"Where are you going?" He asked me.

I didn't answer him, I just continued to put on my Uggs until I turned around.

"I'm going to the hospital, Shanie is in labor, do you mind watchin--

"I got it, but when you come back we have to finish this talk," he said waving me off.

I rolled my eyes mentally and walked away, grabbing my keys off the dresser and heading to the hospital on fifth, but not before going to Terrance and Geniese room and kissing them on their heads as they slept.

*

"DEVIN! HOW COYLD YOU DO THIS SHIT TO ME! UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH," Shanie gripped Devin's hand pushing out her baby as I cried thinking of when I did the exact same thing to Tunchi.

I missed him more than anything and I knew that I was causing problems in my relationship because of me and my Tunchi, but I couldn't help it. I just feel as if he was the only one to love me for me, but then this man, this man that I had met previously wants to come and be the man in my life.

I feel wrong. I feel bad. I feel horrible that I'm going with a man that I met drunk at the club and I don't know if I'm making the right decisions in my life right now.

I have two children, Terrance and Geniese. They remind me everyday of Tunchi and I think that's another reason why it's hard for me move on; my children. They depend on me and if I don't make the right moves. It's all on me, not them, but then I would think of how he treats me so sweet. Even though it's weird, and he treats me respectfully.

I accepted his proposal to be together but now we've almost been together a year and I can tell he's ready for sex, but am I ready? Is what I keep asking myself.

I felt someone tap my shoulder.

"You okay?" Devin asked me.

I smiled faintly.

"I'm good I was just thinking about some shit," I said finally looking up to see the baby in Shanie's hand.

I stood up and walked towards Shanie and she looked up and smiled at me.