Hands In The Stars

21. As Friends

Ai looked up at Datui with half closed eyes, then lowered his head with a profound sigh and got back up onto his blistered feet. He stood up in front of his intoxicated, excessive alcohol smelling friend, and spread his fingers through his thick, black hair, playing around with it between his fingertips.
"I don't even know, I think I just wanted to go to someone who actually doesn't hate me but I guess I'm too fucking complicated for anyone." Ai mumbled out. He sank down onto the black carpet, right besides Datui, and promptly locked his teary eyes onto the floor. "I- Datui, I don't want to be here anymore. Shun is dead and- And dad literally just left us, all because I'm too much of a burden to everyone. I'm just a useless ant in this world! I don't know what to do anymore. Everything is all my fault and I don't think I can handle it. I wish I was never even born in the first place, I'm so sorry for all of this." Ai sobbed hysterically. Datui stared at him with squinting eyes, slowly processing the cruel words Ai was saying. He let Ai cry for a moment, deciding the other might need some space, but seeing the tears wet Ai's cheeks caused an uneasy, harsh feeling to hit Datui. He hurled his body up and brought Ai into his sore arms, but as he felt Ai lean against his frame he gradually fell backwards. Fortunately, the leg of the living-rooms table seized them, and Datui squeezed Ai in his arms as they hugged. Ai's warm tears stained Datui's black shirt, and the tragic sight made Datui tear up as well. Before long, they were both sobbing. Eventually, Datui cupped Ai's soft face in his hands and tenderly wiped his uncontrollable tears. 

"Hey- Hey there, Ai, sweetie, you're never a burden to me, alright? Your dad's a who- A whole piece of shit, and so is your mom. She's shit, just shit! That's not your fault. I'd never treat you like that, you know, so it's alright now. Come here, come here. You're good, okay?" Datui tried speaking as calmly as possible. His earnest words slurred into a soup, but they were sincere. He gently ran his hand up from Ai's cheek to his head, then ran it over his long hair hoping to be at least some kind of comfort. He knew he wasn't very good at comforting people. He'd never know what to do, but he had to try. Observing his beloved in such a horrible state hurt. The world around them buzzed as Datui tried to grasp onto the right words to say, the right things to do.
"I'm sorry." Ai sobbed, stuffing his face into Datui's chest. He let the tears come. There was a long but calm pause, with nothing but Ai's sobs and the occasional sound of small paws filling up the decorated room. Datui ran his fingers over Ai's hair the entire time, feeling Ai clutch to him for dear life. They embraced, Datui pecked Ai's forehead, and Ai looked up from Datui's shirt and into his slightly reddened eyes.

"I-I'm sorry I got here so late, I know you're probably really tired at this point, I could go somewhere else if you want to sleep it's fine." Ai broke the silence, letting go of Datui and moving back a little bit. Datui's arms extended confusingly into the air as Ai stood back up onto his feet. "Cao is probably home, I think." The words made an unpleasant frown paint Datui's face. He scoffed a bit, put a shaky hand against the table besides him and forcefully pushed himself back onto his feet, visibly struggling. 
"Oh, really? Cao is probably home?" Datui repeated in a flat tone, images of the aggressive, short adult man flashed through his mind. In his mind, Datui could see Cao flirting with some drunk, way too young teenage girl in a dark alley somewhere, or passed out in an abandoned warehouse with powder all over his jagged hoodie. "I didn't know you hung out with Edwin's manipulative junkie friends. Since when did that start? I guess if you'd rather be with a jerk that only talks to you to be able to use you as a human shield later on, go right ahead. If you came all the way over here just to make an excuse to leave again, who am I to stop you?" Datui blurred drunkenly with a scowl. His weak state of mind, and pain rushing all over him, made it hard for him to keep his emotions at bay. He stared out through the hallway, trying to avoid Ai's eyes as he felt his own starting to sting. "W- Well, if you actually do want to stay, anyways, you're welcome to. It's no- Not like I have any other plans, and you're more important than that." He mumbled out the last words.