The Days I Spent With You

Humanity

Wall #4:

To the first person I have ever opened my heart up to,

You have made me lose hope in humanity.

While I spent the whole time we had together trying to open my heart up to you, you spent the whole time opening my eyes up to how cruel the world and the people who are its composition can be.

You accepted me for everything that I was until you broke me down far enough to find something that you wasn't for you, just so you could find a way out of everything I was trying to give to you, when all you had to do was just be honest. This was not the first time that I felt like I wasn't enough, but this was the first time that I fully believed it to be true.

I will never forget the words you said to me. I will never forget the moment that made time completely freeze, and right then and there, I can still vividly remember telling myself that my life would never be the same from here.

That no matter what happened, I would be in the wrong. That no matter what happened, if someone looked far enough inside me, they would pick out something that gave them the key to leave.

Through you, I learned what it meant for someone to walk away without any warning. Through you I learned that no matter how many questions you have, some of them will never be answered; and sometimes, it's better off that way.

Through you, I learned that I didn't deserve any explanation other than a part of myself would never be capable of encompassing everything that someone could possibly long for and need.

Here, I was broken for the first time.

Wall number four; a wall I built for the moments I was frozen in pain, for losing trust, for seeing humanity in a different perspective. A wall I built for opening my heart, and for losing it for the first time.