Untouched, Unbothered {Completed}

princess...

Val's POV

I take my hands, and place them on his chest and push him off, he stumbles back a bit. His face shows me all I need to know. "Y-You hurt me, Luca! You left me! I thought I meant something more to you. I thought... I thought you actually would've liked me. I was obviously wrong." I snort. Tears trying so fucking hard to escape. I keep them in.

"P-Princess. You have no idea how hard it was to let you go. I mean, after our first night when we slept together, I knew that I liked you. Maybe more than liked." Finally, the tears found their way on my cheeks. Making my face burn. These tears hurt. They hurt my face because of how hot they were. I felt my throat start hurting because I was trying so hard to keep back a sob.

"If you 'maybe more then liked' me," I say mimicking him. "Why'd you leave? Why'd you make me leave? Why'd you let go when you realized you had feelings for me? Were you scared? Because that was a pretty shitty thing to do, even if you were sacred. You could've talked to me!" I yell. He sat there. Head down. He was silent. I took that as my queue to continue.

"Luca," I say breathlessly. "I fucking love you, you bastard. I can't help it. I hate myself so much for loving you. I really don't want to. But after we 'broke up' you ruined me. For anyone else. I can't get you out of my head. You broke me. And I hate you for that. But I still love you. Which is why I hate myself even more then I could possibly hate you." He finally looks back at my face. It's a side I had never seen of Luca before. He had water. Filling his eyes. Daring to spill. But never spilling.

He looks like he was about to start balling. But he bit his lip and took some deep breaths in. His eyes were still clearly glossy, but tears were gone. I stood there. Breathing heavily and just watching him. He takes my hands in his. I rip my hands away. His touch leaving a very hot and burning sensation in that area. He looked even sadder after I did that.

"Y-You love me?" He asks, questionably. I nod. Then I shake my head. More tears come out. "Yes, I do. But I really really don't want to." He steps closer to me. "Why princess? Why do you not want to." My breath hitches as he's mere feet away from me. I try to step back when my foot hits something and I start to fall backward. Then two very strong arms snake around my waist and upper back. Keeping me from falling. I look into his eyes for what seemed like hours. Once I was back on my feet, by myself, I look at him, then I open my mouth.

"Because Luca! You hurt me! I don't want to love you because every minute I spend away from you, loving you, it just hurts. And it fucking hurts so bad. Yet if I ever tried to move on, it wouldn't work. Because all I can think about was you. That wouldn't be fair to the other person. Thinking about one man while seeing a different one. Then some things changed. My body started changing. I went to the doctors Luca. Turns out I'm pregnant. The only time I've ever had sex was with you! So if you haven't guessed by now, I'm carrying your fucking baby." His mouth drops.

Then it forms a straight line. I continue. "Carrying this baby, it reminds me of you. Don't get me wrong I love the thing. But it's a constant reminder of you. Then I end up thinking of all the cute scenarios of us as a family. Settling down. Then I realize. Those would never come true. You're a fucking mafia capo. That job has responsibilities. Responsibilities I know you can't just give up for me and the baby. That's why the scenarios will never be true. Then I realized, why would someone like you, want a baby anyway? Want someone like me? Want a life like this? If I love you, I'm automatically making me and the baby a target for the rest of our lives. Whether you try and protect us or not. I'll still be a target. I don't care if I am. But my baby. I will not let them live a life like this." He sighs. I look down, trying to slow down my breathing and tears.

"Our baby." He says. He walks toward me. He puts a finger under my chin, then lifts my chin up so I could look into his eyes. I once again melt into his touch. He puts his hand on my cheek. Making me lean into his touch. Making me crave his touch. I snap myself out of that hallucination as he clears his throat. I look back at his eyes.