Tyler and josh were both laid in bed watching TV, Josh was now out of his onesie and his pacifier sat on the bedside table. He wasn't going to put it away fully, you never know when he might need it.
"Hey josh I have a question." Tyler turns onto his side to look at josh, josh following.
"What's up?" Josh asked
"Ya know earlier when I asked if it was nice relaxing onto your headspace?" Tyler started, josh looked at him curiously.
"Yeah? What about it."
"You asked me if you regressed pretty far, do you not remember being little?" Tyler asked, josh briefly checked his eyes for judgement, all be found was pure love and curiosity.
"No I don't, if I am briefly big while in headspace I won't remember it for a while and I can't remember anything when i age up about what happened being little." Josh said, he found it strange himself not remembering sometimes big chunks of his day but it is something he is used to now.
"Also it's a misconception by people who judge this community that we are just acting, my voice and laugh will change to be more childish, I genuinely enjoy children's things, when I try and talk when I'm really young I physically can't do it. Just thought I'd tell you that incase you didn't know." Josh said wanting to get all the information he could out in the open in the early days.
"That's actually really interesting, I haven't really heard you talk but you were doing stereotypical things a baby would earlier. Also I've witnessed brendon when he was little but able to talk and now I think of it his voice is sorta different. I never thought it was an act though so you don't need to worry that I think you're faking anything." Tyler shifted to lay across joshs chest, snuggling close to him.
"Hey ty?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you find it weird how I'm the 'dominant'one/ top in this relationship yet I'm a little?" Josh asked, this question had been plaguing his mind since Tyler found out about his headspace.
"Not at all, yes you're a top when we have sex and you have a more dominant personality but those are just labels, it doesn't mean you have to follow that role day in day out. This is your coping mechanism for things, it would be wrong for me to judge you on it. I love you regardless." Tyler said, he had a feeling there was something else bothering josh after speaking to him previously. He's glad l he can try out his mind to rest now.
"I love you too, thank you." Josh said pulling Tyler closer.
"It's no problem baby."
"Oh also-" Josh started but the question died in his throat when the anxiety hit him.
Tyler looked at him waiting for him to finish but josh just laid his head back on the pillow closing his eyes.
'Stupid, he would never want that. He would be embarrassed. You are an embarrassment.' These words circles joshs mind, why did he have to start asking that question it was stupid.
"What were you gonna ask babe?"
Josh turned away, a tear running down his face. Tyler out a hand on his shoulder in attempt to stop him.
"Joshy come.on you can ask me anything. I promise I won't get angry or anything, what's bugging you sweetheart?"
"But you would be embarrassed." Josh stated, automatically bringing his thumb to his mouth wanting to escape.
"Hey joshy you can be little in a second I want to know what you were gonna ask me." Tyler said bringing joshs hands into his own.
Josh breathed deeply trying to prepare himself.
With a sigh joah started "would I be allowed to be little in public if I need to?"
"Of course baby, I'll always look after you regardless. I'm not embarrassed to look after my little one in public." Tyler stated, turning josh back round for a hug. Josh was full on crying now and Tyler knew he wouldn't stay big for long. Tyler was about to grab the paci off the table when josh spoke up.
"How have I got so lucky? All I've ever had is shitty exes that used and abused me then I find you. Someone who loves me regardless, will switch to being a caregiver so easily. You never hurt me, always look out for me and take anything I throw.at you in your stride. I love you so much, I'm so fucking lucky." Josh said, tears still steaming down his face but he needed to say this.
"All you've got it what you deserve. You deserve someone who will love you no matter what. You deserve love and kindness. You didn't deserve any of what they done to you. Remember that baby."
Josh simply cried harder into tylers chest and Tyler simply held him and rocked him for the next hour as josh cried himself to sleep.
