The One You Can't Forget (The One, #1)

thirty-eight

Emyln

Something is bothering Hains. That much I know as I pull him down beside me. His arm instantly wraps around my shoulders and he pulls me close so my head is resting on his shoulder. I hear him sigh. Something is bothering him. Badly. Or else he would be talking to me about anything and not leaving me in this comfortable silence.

"Are you okay?" I ask quietly.

My boyfriend doesn't reply to me for the longest time, so I take the time to memorize what being this close to him feels like. Things are looking bleak for the portfolio I sent to the University of Ottawa. I know mail can take a long time to make it to its destination, but I'm getting antsy. I feel like I should have heard something back by now. I haven't even gotten a call regarding Hains, let alone a letter of acceptance or one that declines us a future we really deserve.

"I'm okay," he finally replies, sounding exhausted. "Just got a lot on my mind right now."

"Like?"

I don't know if he realizes it, but he starts to run his fingers up and down my side, from just above my ribcage to the top of my hip. I shudder. My pyjamas are thin, so it almost feels like he's touching my skin. "Summer's going to end soon and you're leaving," he says quietly.

I try to ignore the jab of pain that throbs in my stomach, but I can't. The sadness in his voice is distinct and raw. I don't want to leave him again. It's the last thing I want to do. It's just...I can't give up on the spot I've worked hard to earn at the university. "I know," I whisper. "But we're going to make it work."

I tilt my face up to look at him. He's got his eyes shut, lashes tickling his defined cheekbones, and he's facing the ceiling. The soft glow of the lamp gives me enough light to see that he's chewing on his bottom lip. It's something he does when he's thinking deeply. I know something else is bothering him, something that goes deeper than me just leaving. For a moment I wonder if he's still mad at me for leaving, but then I realize that if he were, he wouldn't be with me right now. I begin to list off the possibilities: he could be mad at something I said, he could be having problems with his dad that he doesn't want to talk about, or maybe he had a disagreement with his mom.

"Hains?" I ask, rolling over and propping myself up on my elbow.

"Yeah, Ems?" he replies, opening his eyes and looking at me.

Did I ever mention what his eyes do to me? God, they're so beautiful I could just stare into them for hours. I mean, nobody else has grey eyes like him. They're smoky with a hint of silver. So unique.

I rest a hand on his chest, drawing small circles with my nails. "I know you're keeping something from me." He opens his mouth to say something, but I hold up my hand. "Let me finish before you say anything. I know something is bothering you, and if you're not ready to tell me, then I'm okay with that. What I did to you...I don't know how you found it in you to forgive me." I sigh and rub my temples. "What I'm trying to say is that I respect your space and I didn't come back here expecting everything to be perfect between us. So I get why you're not – "