Online Identity (A Dan Howell Fan Fiction)

Chapter 15: Dan's True Feelings

Chapter 15: Dan's True Feelings

Dan's Bedroom --- 10:10pm

Phil's P.O.V.

Dan just finished playing his version of Troye's Song 'Happy Little Pill' on his piano in his bedroom and suddenly, he started to cry. I felt bad for him that I decided to go close to him but suddenly, he got off his chair and gave me a huge tight hug. We suddenly fell to the ground and he was on top of me.

"Dan?" I said.

Dan just placed his head on my chest and continued crying. Dan was never like this before. He must be really, really upset or lonely. I felt bad. I can't bare to see my best friend this upset.

"Phil..." Dan said.

"Yes?" I asked.

"I'm so sorry" Dan said. "But I don't want to lose you. You're the only one I have that makes me happy!"

I started to get shock. I'm something to Dan... something more than friends... I'm his hope.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You were always there for me when I'm in need... when I'm in pain and... I don't know" said Dan. "I now think I know how our fans feel when they meet you. That innocence of yours... It makes me smile... I makes me feel like I can go on".

"Dan..." I said.

"Phil... I... I DONT WANT YOU TO MARRY ELLIE!" Dan yelled.

"What..." I said in shock.

This was unexpected. Really unexpected. Did he just say that I should not marry my fiancé?! I know I spend half or most of my time with Ellie but this is just selfish.

"I'm sorry if I'm being greedy but... Think about it. You will soon be gone from this humble abode and I will have to call you whenever I'm upset" Dan said. "I know Phan isn't real and I'm trying not to make it real but I just..."

I just lied down on the ground, watching and waiting on what Dan has to say next. I have no idea what to say or think...

"I JUST DONT WANT TO LOSE MY ONE AND ONLY BEST FRIEND!!!" Dan yelled.

That's when he just continued crying. The top of his head was on my chest and I can see tears dripping down his face. But I can't accept this. I know I'm this innocent and nice guy but this time... It was going too far. So I did the impossible... I pushed Dan off me and stood up.

"Dan... You're just saying this because Liana rejected you!" I said.

Dan was just staring at me with the eyes of a child in trouble... And I mean like they did something wrong. I now need to tell Dan that things have move on and I can't just be like this forever,

"I'm getting married soon... Probably this September!" I said. "Just because you're alone doesn't mean you should depend on me all the time! Time to grow up Daniel... You're no longer that 16 year old boy!"

I left the room, leaving Dan alone to reflect on his life. Once I closed that door, I walked to my room which is just next to his and I closed it. I got out a box underneath my bed called 'Phil and Dan --- Memories". I opened it and it had all the photos and little souvenirs we have. Then fell a Tarot card... The Knight of Wands. This card... the card that predicted that I will meet Dan Howell. Then I look through the photos and I started to cry a bit. I moved the box away and hugged my legs and gave a thought to myself... I'm I that cruel to Dan?

Dan's P.O.V.

I was lying on the floor, looking like I want to die in vain. The feeling of suicide... It was the feeling in my heart. But Phil has a point... I need to grow up. I can't just be this kid who just mopes around feeling depressed and cursing the world to end. I just lied there and think. Why do I need to fall for someone who doesn't know me? Maybe I should fall for someone who does know me... Date a fan or something.

I now have to change... Since Phil is moving on... So should I...

I now decided to change my style... My attitude and everything that I am now. The world knows me for my Online Identity... Time to become a different person... Just so I can please myself and others. Hope this plan work though.

July 28 2014, 10am

I got up, took a shower and got ready. I looked through my closet and I still wore my usual black but this time... I spiked up my hair, wore clothes where I almost look like Edward Cullen from Twilight and I didn't mind. I went out of my bedroom and I prepared my breakfast and went to the living room. There I see Phil watching the BBC News hoping that he will see Ellie on the telly.

I sat on a different couch and ate. Phil saw me and was shocked and confused.

"Hello" said Phil.

"Hi" I said in a deep monotone voice.

More awkward silence...

"So... New look" asked Phil.

"I have to grow up" I said. "I now decided to change my look a bit and I will try to move on"

"Dan...about that... I just want to apologise" said Phil.

"Phil... Don't worry!" I said. "You were correct... I'm no longer that kid anymore. I'm now 23 and I don't have to rely on you to make me happy"

I stood up, left the room to put my bowl in the sink, packed my bag and left the apartment.

Phil's P.O.V.

This isn't Dan. I can tell. He has changed... but maybe it's for the best...

Is it?...