The Diary of Existing

TWENTY

TWENTY

I watched as my mother tormented the staff she had hired for the last 30 minutes before the party had started. She was in this gold evening dress, with jewelry barking orders at people who were running around with a lot in their hands. She'd tell them one thing then say they did it wrong. I wanted to tell them that there was never anything they could do that was right, because my mother knows best.

"All done." Amanda said as she let go of my hair. I ran my open palm through my brushed hair and smiled at her. She hugged me, the kind of hug you'd expect from a mother telling her child that everything was going to go well. Amanda knew that I was never in favor of these types of events. Most especially now.

I actually debated whether I would tell her about Morgan and her dad. Deep inside I wanted someone to know, to keep an eye on her as well. To have another set of eyes looking out. But I knew Amanda. If she caught wind of it she would immediately tell the police. And that wasn't something I thought Morgan needed right now, and I didn't want to feel the wrath of my mother.

A few minutes later guests began to pour in. Jacqueline, Bailey and Hannah were the first few. Jacqueline wanted to meet my mother, something that I was completely against but I didn't want to feel rude. When we had approached my mother she just kept waving us off. We stood behind her as she talked to investors, and it was completely awkward and embarrassing, but it was something expected. We waited a few more minutes but realized she was going to just ignore us.

"This is Jacqueline, Bailey and Hannah Choi." I said and my mother immediately turned around at the sound of Hannah's last name.

"Excuse me for a moment, my daughter wants me to meet her friends." My mother said to her guest. He smiled and walked away. My mother's attention was now on Hannah. She put her hand out and the girls shook hands with her, which my mother felt disappointed about.

"Hannah, your father is Wendell Choi right?" Hannah nodded her head at the mention of her father's name. I didn't even know his name and she does? Jacqueline and Bailey observed the way I was trying to hide my facial expressions whenever my mother opened her mouth. I think they were finding it amusing because I could see them laughing.

Beforehand, I had warned the girls about my mother. I opened up to them how me and her were never really on the same level, how we never really connected. I explained to them that she was too busy thinking about her image to think about her daughter. Something I never knew I would tell a bunch of girls who were calling me their friend. But it was surprising to see how concerned and understanding they are, I had expected them to be surprised and ask me several questions I don't want to answer. But instead, they kept their mouth shut about it and simply nodded.

"Excuse me Ms. Rose, but I'm in need of the ladies' room." Hannah said as she pulled me by the arm. Bailey and Jacqueline followed behind us. We walked further, and Hannah turned to look if my mother was still watching us. When she wasn't, she let go of my arm and sighed.

"You weren't lying. She was more interested in my dad than meeting me." Hannah commented and laughed.

"Well, at least we're here." Jacqueline said as she placed a hand on my arm and smiled. I smiled back. It was good having them here. It was less distracting at how horrible this part of my life is. The party was actually more bearable with them around.

We continued to walk around, at one point Bailey pretended to be Irish and talked to a bunch of my mother's investors, pretending to be this rich royalty from Ireland. Me, Hannah and Jacqueline were just laughing from a distance at how they were falling for it. It was truly hilarious.

But all of that stopped, when I recognized familiar faces entering the door.

Morgan and her father.