Fortyeight

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Yoongi-
Jihoon has been staying at Hoseok's house for the past three days. They take him to school and take care of him. I'm glad I have friends like that at times like this. I'm back to work, from home. Namjoon will stop by each night to make sure I'm still alive and eating. Of course I am.
I'm laying on the couch. Holly is at my feet. My laptop is on my lap. I'm trying to get caught up on work. The cheap food Joon borough is on the floor, Holly already ate what I didn't. It's very lonely in the house. No talking, no laughter. Just the sound of my keyboard keys.
That's why when I hear the sound of the door being unlocked made me panic.
I get up from my seat. I slowly walk over to the door. It opens. A short, tired boy looks at me, before his eyes flick to the ground. A smile appears on my face. I walk to him. He avoids eye contact.
"Jiminie," I whisper. I softly put my hand on his chin, lifting his face. "Baby."
He wraps his arms around my waist and buried his head in my chest. I hold him tightly. I press soft kisses into his hair. "I missed you," he mumbles into my chest.
"I miss you too," I say. "You're home now. Your home."
"I know."
I pat his butt. He knows what to do, jump up and wrap his legs around my hips. He looks into my face. He pets my cheek. "I'm sorry for leaving. I shouldn't have ran away from my problems like a child. We were supposed to get through this together. Instead I left, and made things worse for both of us," His voice is tight. Tears start to flow down his cheeks.
"Sh, baby, it's okay," I say. I kiss his tears. "I got you. We can get through this together."
He nods. For a moment he just holds my face. Then he's kissing me. It's slow. We both miss each other's touch. I hold him close to me, I want to feel his heart against mine. I've missed him.
"We-we have to talk," he says softly against my lips.
I nod. "Okay." I set him down. I hold his hand and lead him upstairs. It's the first time in actually in my room for something other than clothes. I sit on the bed, he sits next to me.
"When I said the miscarriage is my fault, I wasn't kidding," Jimin speaks carefully, like I'll jump out and hurt him. "The pill I took had many side effects. Miscarrying was one of them. I took the pill because I didn't want to let you down, and I knew you wouldn't want me to use it if it would cause problems. But I just needed a baby. And now we aren't getting one."
I focus my head on important things. Jimin is with me. We are going to get through this together. We are going to be okay. We will have another child eventually, whether that is our own or adopting. What's not important is that Jimin went behind my back and took a pill he knew I wouldn't want him to take. Since he is a man, the risk of miscarriage is higher, why would he risk it?
"Yoongi, please say something," Jimin whimpers.
I look at him. He looks like a kicked puppy. I take his hand. "Next time we have to talk about it. You are not allowed to take those pills again. We will do it the old fashion way if we have to."
Jimin smiles slightly. "I'm glad you're not mad."
I brush my thumb over his. "No, I am. But I can't focus on that when I have you."
He smiles. "How soon is too soon to try again?" He asks shyly.
I smile. "Well, I figure we better be married first."
He gasps. "Lets go on a vacation! We can go to London! Les get married there!"
I laugh. "Okay, lets do it."
He hugs me and kisses me gently. "I'll have to renew my passport. Plus what are we doing with Jihoon?"
"Let him come. I want our boy to be at our wedding. Plus I wouldn't have fun not knowing if he's okay or not."
Jimin smiles. "First family vacation. Plus our honey moon."
I kiss his nose. "It sounds like a plan."
He pushes me back so I'm laying on my back. He climbs on my waist and lays down. His head against my chest. "I missed you. I think I'll be able to sleep again."
"Me too. Lets just cuddle until we sleep," I say.
He giggles and nods. He lays on my chest, he's so light. His breathing slows quickly and soon I know he's asleep. I play with his hair and listen to our hearts beat together, for each other.

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