Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now

I Really Wish You Liked Girls -2

Our friendship started by chance. Quite frankly, it started with my girlfriend.

Anna and I were on and off for months, leaving you to deal with both sides of our agony. You two would get into fights a lot. Naively, I would always take her side, always assuming she was right and that you were some malicious monster that had no feelings and no morals. It only became clear to me that I was being toyed with when Anna asked to log into my Snapchat account to talk to you... to try and fix things between the two of you. Turns out, she wasn't trying to fix things, but to try and ruin our friendship under my name. I'm sorry that she made me seem like a douche.

After Anna and I split, you were the one to pick me back up off my feet. You were the one with the outstretched arms ready to embrace me tight and not let go. You were special. You were something I knew I would want to hold on to for as long as I could.

So, naturally, we became closer. We talked every second of every day, always updating each other on where we were and what we were doing. We became inseparable. We had so much in common that sometimes I thought I was talking to myself through the screen. We would talk and talk and the more we talked and talked the more hostile Anna became.

She would constantly message me, asking if we had spoken to each other, begging to know every detail of our friendship. She truly believed that I had stolen her best friend right out from under her. In reality, however, she was the one who had destroyed your friendship in the first place and had made poor choices that led to not-so-favorable outcomes.

Anna threatened to "leave" you and give up the friendship, but she could never bring herself to do it, all the while you and I bonded over how we just wanted our time away from her. We were both scared to actually allow ourselves to be friends, only because we didn't think we could stand anymore from Anna.

The exact moment I realized that you were the one I liked was both the best and worst time of my life. The best, because I felt like I finally had this weight lifted from my chest. The worst, because I was fresh out of a relationship, and that I remembered you had a boyfriend.

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For the past month and a half, I've been falling for you. I've been falling for you so hard that I don't want to open my eyes and look at the tremendous drop that I'm about to slide down into. You're everything I've ever wanted and everything I'll ever need. I just A) wish we weren't best friends and that I wouldn't ruin everything if I told you and B) I really wish you that you liked girls.