Crying in the rain {Edited}

Epilogue

Here lies Collin, beloved son and student.

 

I took a deep breath and picked at the grass around the grave stone. The sky was bright today, almost reached the 80’s earlier. It was seven years ago today, that Collin had died. Seven years!

“Miss you, loser.” I said, laughing a little bit at the end. I haven’t been home for a couple years. Noah and I moved to a small little town a couple hours up north to start fresh. After I graduated high school, he proposed to me. It was our first night in the new town, Christmas time, so it was all snowy and such. It wasn’t special; more a spur of the moment thing, but it was perfect for us.

I haven’t had one dream since the last one with Collin in it. I wasn’t surprised really, he told me he would still be watching me, and that’s all that mattered.

“Mommy!” I heard a little girl screaming as she ran closer to me. I quickly got off the ground and prepared my arms open for her.

“Emily, quiet down!” Noah scolded her, running after her with an apologetic look on his face. Emily was now three; she had Noah’s eyes and dark curly hair. I named her after the first person I met in Pennsie; she greeted me with sincere hospitality. She even helped me with the wedding; she was probably the first real friend I made there. Eventually, she fell in love with Adam, who was Noah’s long-time best friend.

“Darling, remember what daddy told you about raising your voice in this kind of place? It’s disrespectful of the other people who came here to grieve.” I lectured her. I looked up at Noah who was looking a couple people a few rows down, silently apologizing.

“Mommy, what’s Dis-pec-ful?” She asked, scrunching her nose up. I laughed lightly while I poked her nose.

“It’s rude honey, very rude.” I said. She made an ‘O’ face and shook her head.

“Jayden called, he say’s it’s an emergency.” He mumbled, rolling his eyes. That brings me back to this moment; Jayden is finally getting married to Lindsey, finally. He’s been worked up about it all year, always freaking out whenever she said ‘we need to talk’ or whenever he thought he wasn’t good enough for her.

“Worried Lindsey has cold feet?” I asked, watching him nod his head in agreement. I sighed, and positioned Emily on my hip, grabbing his hand as we walked back to the car. Emily was humming a song, and making noises with her lips.

“Emily.” Noah warned, and then she instantly stopped. I smiled at her as we walked out of the cemetery gates. His phone rang again once we got her into her car seat and Noah started to drive away. I picked up Noah’s phone and answered it, already knowing who it was.

“Would you calm down? I’m on my way!” I said, ignoring the little sounds Emily was once again making with her mouth. *Pop*

“I can’t! What if she takes one look at me as she’s walking down the isle and runs off, Emma? I don’t think I can’t do this.” Jayden shouted through the phone, making me wince at the loudness of his harsh voice.

“I did not drive five hours down here to turn back around and go home! Want to know a secret?” I asked, lowering my voice at the last part. He stayed silent, waiting for me to continue. We were about a block away from the chapel now, almost there.

“When I was walking down the isle to marry Noah, I was so scared out of my mind, but you know what I was thinking a few minutes before? He’s going to leave or he won’t show up. She’s thinking the same things you are! So please, for the love of everything holy, calm down… I’m here. I’ll check up on you, but then I’m taking my seat and waiting.” I hung up the phone, giving Noah and irritated look before looking back at Emily.

“Remember the flowers you were throwing the other day?” I asked, kindly getting her attention as she stopped making noises. She nodded her head, smiling brightly at us.

“Do you think you practiced enough to do it today?” She giggled and laughed even more.

“I’ll take her to Lindsey; you go talk to your brother.” Noah said, leaning in to give me a quick kiss before we went our separate ways. I got out of the car and headed towards the back of the chapel.

“I’m a girl that’s coming in!” I shouted, opening the door and going up to Jayden. He looked at me terrified, I couldn’t help but laugh. I went up to him and gave him a soft hug, just for comfort.

“I’m here, she’s here, and everything’s perfect, so let’s get the show on-the-road big brother!” I shouted, clapping my hands, getting the boys lined up behind him as we made our way into the building. I spotted Noah saving us spots in the chairs in the audience.

“Remember, just think about the honeymoon.” I said, winking before I left off, sitting next to my husband. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it lightly.

“Is everything good?” He asked, looking at me. I nodded my head before he kissed me and stood up, looking up at Jayden who nodded his head at him.

“Alright, I’m going up there; remember to grab Emily once she’s done. I don’t want her to go running off and causing havoc.” He whispered, and I nodded my head in agreement. He stood up on the podium taking his rightful place as best-man beside my brother. The music started and I noticed Emily in her little pink dress, smiling brightly at all the attention on her. She walked slowly, throwing the flowers in front of her as she made her way to the front where Noah was motioning his hands for her to continue. Once she was close enough, she spotted me and smiled, walking over to me just like we had planned.

“That was fun mommy; I can’t wait to do that again, but next time, can Collin do it with me?” She asked, placing her hand on my pregnant belly as she smiled at the idea of having her brother with her. I laughed with her and brought my arms around her, bringing her closer to me.

“Of course you can, sweetie.” I whispered.