little lies (an e.d. fanfiction)

✭ chapter 20

claire's pov

i wake up with a headache. i don't want to go to school, i don't even want to get out of bed. i rub my temple, stressed, until something pops into my head. ethan.

i feel a smile creep onto my face as i lazily pull the comforter off of me and hop out of bed. i start reminiscing from last night and get this warm and fuzzy feeling inside, as cliché as it sounds.

he makes me feel so- i don't know. different, i guess. whenever i think about him i feel happy, or whenever he's with me i feel like everything is going to be okay. no one has ever made me feel the way that he makes me feel, and i can't help but crave for it.

no boy has ever had this effect on me. i'm not a boy crazy person, i don't get involved with that stuff. i've always found relationships and dating so artificial, so the fact that every little thing he does pulls on my heart strings amazes me.

i walk over to my bathroom and look in the mirror as i start to brush my teeth. yikes, i look awful. i examine my fat thighs and the rough bags under my eyes and sigh. i feel so ugly and i hate it.

my mood changes into a slightly negative one and i exhale. the fact that my mood changes from high to low that quick is intriguing but also concerning. it sucks when you hate yourself and there's girls like serena that are a constant reminder to you that you're a nobody.

we get the results for cheer tryouts today and if i make the team then i'm really stuck with liz, chelsea, and kimberly. that's not even counting serena and payton, so i know that if i make the team they'll try their best to put me through hell.

oh well, fuck it. i love cheer and that's what i want to do, too bad if they don't want me on the team. it's not like they can do anything about it.

i walk back to my room to pick out an outfit and i pick out a champion sweatshirt with some leggings and my white adidas.

since my outfit is lazy, i decide to do a good amount of makeup to give the illusion of me being able to look cute even when i'm dressed lazy. i put my hair in a cute messy bun and walk out of my room and quietly jog downstairs.

i make a quick cup of coffee and head out the door. i walk slowly over to the bus stop since i'm actually on time today. i feel my heart start to pound a bit. i always get this nervous feeling when i walk to the bus. today's the start of a new day and anything can happen, i guess that's what scares me.

i know it sounds dumb, worrying about what could or might happen, but with everything that's been going on how could i not stress about that?

i take slow steps and listen to my headphones playing poundz by brent faiyaz. i exhale slowly while looking down at the ground as i walk.

i look up and see that the bus stop is getting closer into view. i see liz looking at me with a bitchy stare and i swallow. what does she want?

i walk up to the bus stop and pretend that i don't see her. we both act like the other one is invisible now. it's kind of weird considering two weeks ago we were inseparable.

i make awkward eye contact with her for a couple seconds then quickly look away as she does the same. the bus pulls up and i walk past her to make my way on. as i get in front of her, i hear a scoff come from her and i roll my eyes.

i step onto the bus and go to find an empty seat on the bus. i find a seat with no one in it and i quickly sit down. i put my stuff down beside me and sigh as i receive a text message.

ethan: hey i hope today is a better day for u. don't forget i'm here if u need me

i feel my heart burst and i feel that same warm feeling from this morning come and surround my body once again. i lean my head up against the window and look out with a small smile taking over my face.