Snowfall

Part 13

I make my way over to the bridge near the school. I don't expect him to show. But I find myself hoping anyway. I walk down the frosty path, dreading with every step that I will be leaving this place. I walk down the steps toward the bridge and. He's there. I see him. I check my phone. 10.49am. He turns and sees me and before I know it we are standing face to face.

"Hey." He smiles weakly.

"Hi." I reply. "You're early."

"Well I do like to be punctual." I laugh quietly.

"The whole point of this exercise is that I'd have to wait for you." He shrugs and kicks the snow at his feet.

"Sorry to disappoint." I try to keep my voice calm, but I can feel myself getting choked up.

"I thought you weren't going to come." He looks at me.

"Then why come to wait for me if you thought I wouldn't show?" I shrug.

"Because despite all logic, I really hoped you might have. And that was enough. And besides it is the least I can do for being an absolute imbecile."

"You know it wasn't actually your fault, you didn't go through my stuff and read it out to everyone." I stare at the white snow covering our boots.

"But I hurt you. I hurt all of you. And I can't forgive myself for that." I almost whisper. I look up to find him pulling out a piece of paper. He unfolds it and I can see from the back it's my letter.

"Did you mean it? The letter?" I look into his intense copper eyes.

"Every word." He tries to speak but nothing comes out at first. He wipes the tears forming in his eyes.

"Katie, do you love me?" I feel the tears streaming down my cheeks.

"Elliot, I love you more than I have ever loved anyone in my life." He exhales and starts crying. "Every time I see you my stomach twists into knots, every time we touch I feel electricity circulate within me, and every time you say my name my heart races and I can't breathe. From the moment I met you I have been falling for you, and I am completely, hopelessly, irrevocably, whole-heartedly in love with you." He looks straight into my eyes, I feel completely numb.

"From the moment we met you were literally falling head over heels in love with me..." We both chuckle quietly.

"Sometimes I feel so lost, like a single snowflake in an entire snowstorm. I don't know where to go, or where I am, or how I got there. But I know that I can count on you to catch me should I fall."

"Always, I will always catch you. Wherever you are." He leans close to me, I lean up to him. I close my eyes and savour the closeness of him, I can feel his breath on my cheek. I put my hand around the back of his neck and pull him closer to me, so that our lips are almost touching. He pulls away unexpectedly.

"I'm sorry." I swallow hard as I stare at the pavement. He shakes his head.

"No, it's not you. It's just, I've never kissed a girl before so, I don't really know what to do."

"Me neither." He turns around, puzzled.

"What?" I smile at him and smirk slightly.

"I've never kissed a girl either." He shakes his head at me and chuckles. But then he settles down and looks at the horizon, and I can see there are tears still forming in his eyes and rolling down his cheeks.

"But I mean you've been Dean Marks, the most popular guy in school. How am I supposed to compete with someone like that?" I sigh.

"To be honest with you he's not a great kisser, at all." Elliot shrugs.

"It's not just about kissing it's, well, other stuff." I frown at him.

"I don't follow." He swallows before continuing.

"You know that you and him, at the party, you guys, well you... you know." I shake my head. I really don't know. Elliot looks around and whispers as if someone is watching us. "You had sex." I step back.

"Excuse me?" Elliot looks at me.

"It's not exactly a secret, Dean has been going on about it for weeks now." I cannot believe this.

"What a cock!" I shake my head in disgust.

"What?" I look over at Elliot.

"Elliot whatever you have heard, whatever Dean said it isn't true. Dean and I did not have sex at his party. He was batshit drunk and kissed me. I pushed him away, he tried to take me to his bedroom, so I threw my drink on him and left. End of story." Elliot sniggers to himself.

"That's pretty badass. But still you kissed literally the god of women in this place. And I am a nerdy bookworm, doesn't seem to match up if you ask me."

"Elliot don't be jealous it was horrible, like someone shoved a slug in my mouth his tongue was everywhere." Elliot starts laughing.

"What a way to have your first kiss then." I shuffle closer to him, and he turns so that he is facing me.

"I like to think that doesn't count because he was drunk, and I didn't kiss him back so..." I reach up and put my hand on his cheek. He sort of gasps, I don't know if it's cause I touched him or if my hands are cold.

"Elliot?" He opens his eyes.

"Yeah?" I bite my lip.

"Do you want to kiss me?" He swallows hard.

"More than anything, but I don't want to stuff it up."

"I've heard it easier if you don't overthink it." He laughs quietly.

"For people like me that's impossible." I smile.

"Same."

"I love you Katie." My name again. I love the way he says it, pronouncing each syllable and each letter so perfectly and articulately.

"I love you Elliot." I pull him towards me. Our lips touch. It is like nothing I have ever experienced before. Every emotion, every sensation is amplified tenfold. And the rest of the world, all of time itself disappears. Our lips move lightly against one another, as if we are afraid of hurting the other person. I slide my hand down his arm until our hands are touching. His hands are trembling beneath mine. I put his arm around my back and he pulls my body closer to his. I wrap my arms around his neck and run my fingers though his hair. And then we are kissing more deeply, our lips moving slowly but with more force. And yeah, there is definite tongue action involved. But it doesn't feel gross or anything remotely slug-like. It feels natural. The way he holds me, the way our bodies fit close to one another. It feels like home. He feels like home.