Until My Last Breath

Chapter 72

"I think that's the only song I know how to play on the piano." Nathan says, laughing lightly. "Dad showed you like a thousand times. He would be disappointed if you didn't know!" I huff, raising mu eyebrow.

"Hey, I do know how to play it so don't give me that look." He sasses, mimicking my posture.

I stick my tongue out before taking the last sip of my water, setting the empty glass next to the cup. "You always did that when you didn't know what to say anymore." He grins.

"I do know what to say I'm just not going too hard on you yet." "Of course." He chuckles, resting his elbows on the table between us. As fast as our seemingly endless conversation started it also stopped again.

The suffocating tension lingering in the air and coating us again. "I missed you, Rosie-" "Oh really? I totally noticed since you gave me so many signs." I snap, the held back anger immediately building up in me.

Nathan eyes close for a moment, covering his green-brown orbs before a sigh escapes his lips. "So you don't understand?"

"Understand what? That it was so hard to leave on single meet where you are or why you left? To let me know that you are okey once in a while? No, I f*cking don't understand! I thought you were death Nathan.

So many times I gave up hope and believes I lost you just like Mom and Dad. Do you know how that felt?" I ask, my voice almost inaudible at the end of my rant.

He just opens his mouth, no words coming out while his eyebrows crunch together. "No you don't. Because you weren't the one who was left behind. All I hoped for was one single call or message Nathan. I need you more than anything at that time.

The thought of you being also... dead, was driving me crazy. You don't know how many times I wanted to finally give everything up." I add, a single tear running down my cheek as I avert my eyes out of the window. I quickly wipe it away, feeling his eyes on me the whole time we remain silent.

"Rose?" He asks quietly after a while. I feel his warm hand resting on top if mine which I laying on the table. "Please listen. I get it okey? I get that it was f*cked up of me to disappear like that but back then I was so stressed and worried about something also happening to you that I had to get away as fast as possible.

I didn't think of hurting you with that for one second and I hate myself so much for that. I just knew that I had to bring distance between me an you. I'm sorry.

I know damn well that a sorry doesn't bring back two years but I had to. As I realized what I did, it was too late. Every move of mine got observed Rose.

If I only dialed your number they would have started searching for you and god know what would have happened. I did all that so I could someday get back to you and never leave again." He explains, running his thumb in patters over the back of my hand.

I just stare onto the table, taking in the words that have left his mouth. "And I do know..." he sighs, moving the sleeve of my shirt up my arm, revealing almost healed cuts along with fresh wounds. "I had a nightmare last night." I murmur as I notice him look at me worriedly.

Closing his eyes he nods, cupping my hand with his others one too. I have been there all the time, just not in person. "Ava right?" I ask.

"Yeah, I thought you would get along with her well." I nod, tracing the top of the cup with my finger as I think about what to say. "Is there a way without that?" Nathan points to wrist.

"To get the nightmares away, I mean." I nod, avoiding his gaze as he probably waits for me to tell him what it is but I keep my mouth shut.

„What is it? Why don't you try to focus on that instead, if it works?" "Because I don't want to at the moment." I reply, shrugging. "But why... oh." Nathan responds, remaining silent for a few moments until he speaks up again.

"Damn it. I still hoped that it wouldn't be that serious with him." He grumbles, running a hand trough his hair. I chuckle lightly, my eyes meeting his as he sighs. "He is leaving for tour again today." I state, examining the tattoo on his forearm which reaches under his shirt to his shoulder.

I smile as I see lilies between all the other ones. He nods and I could see that he doesn't like the idea of being with him at all. Typical brother. It's things like these that makes me feel like a normal teenager without any difficulties but highschool until reality hits me.
"You are going with him?"

Shrugging I trace the small owl tattoo which consists only of the outlines of the animals. "Remember when we promised to get one together? I remembered that you said you like tiny tattoos."

"Yeah, it's beautiful." "Great, now you just have to get it too." Nathan smiles. I raise my eyebrows while crossing my arms, leaning against the leather seat.

"Who knows." I say. Sighing, I rub my hand over the side of my face. "I don't know what to do. Can I have your non overprotective brother opinion? Please." "I'll try." Nathan says, watching me intently. "Also pretend like you weren't involved in any of this okey"

"Okey." "So like you can guess he means a lot me." He nods, biting his lips to probably not interrupt me. "Like... no forget it." I shake my head, grasping onto strand of my hair. "No, no tell me."

"How can I ask you if I should forgive him, if I haven't even thought about forgiving you?" I ask, my voice raised as I start to get frustrated with the whole situation again. "Rosie." He sighs, standing up to walk over to my side.

His arm wrap around me and I immediately hug back. I actually wanted to do that since I walked in here. I bury my head into his shoulder, taking in his familiar scent which seems to relax me instantly.

"I missed you, little one." He whispers, kissing the top of my head. "I missed you too, asshole." I reply, a smile creeping onto my lips as he lets out a deep chuckle.

„Listen, I'm not in the position to tell you what's right and what's the wrong thing to do. And as you know I would probably tell you to stay home and find someone who is less of an idiot that him, so I'm not gonna say anything but that.

Yes, I made him promise not to tell you because I knew your stubborn head would look for me at all costs. He really seems to want to protect you Rose.

If you need a break though I'm sure he will understand. Maybe you should-" "I know what I'm gonna do." I sigh, pulling back from the hug. "And what is that?"

"You'll see. But I have to talk to him in person first. I shouldn't do that over text."