Break Me (Doctor Who Fanfiction)

Chapter 4 ― My New Home

***60 VOTES FOR CHAPTER 5***

Hey hey, sorry about being a little late... When I got home from my trip, I found out my dad had cut off the internet -_- and then I got busy with some other things. 

Anyways, I have good and bad news. Good news, I got a job for the summer! Well paid including tips and I'll have a lot of hours! Bad news, I'll have a lot of hours meaning I won't be able to spend as much time as I would like writing and things could come a little more slowly :/ But it's only for two mouths, then I'm off to college, so it shouldn't be that bad. I hope.

I hope you enjoy the chapter :) I little less sad, this shouldn't make you cry ^^ haha

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CHAPTER 4

MY NEW HOME

Things at Torchwood were interesting – at least they would be if I cared more. But I was beyond caring what was going on around me. I didn’t go on their little missions with them, I wasn’t of any use when they were at Torchwood headquarters – now my home. I spent my long boring days in the room they gave me that used to be some storage room for useless things. I figured I’d fit well there because I was useless. Of course, they emptied the place and brought in a bed, a desk with a chair and a cupboard for clothes. But I didn’t have any clothes besides the clothes I was wearing on my back when the Doctor left me “for my own good” as he said. A forest green t-shirt, dark blue jeans and my yellow converse. Tosh and Gwen, the girls of Torchwood, donated a few items, but I missed having any item of clothing I desired appear in my TARDIS bedroom or going through the costume room to fit with my surroundings.

I hadn’t really made an idea of the people here, what they were like and if I liked them or not because I was distant and hiding away from them. The only person I was sure to see every day was Ianto Jones. I wasn’t sure what he did at Torchwood, but every day, he knocks at my door to bring me my three meals and tea. I kind of liked him – or rather appreciated him - because he respected the fact that I didn’t feel like talking, he didn’t try to force a conversation. He would simply place the food on my desk, wish me a good meal with a slight smile and leave me in peace.

The others have tried to get me to open up, but I didn’t trust them. I only had a little trust for Jack and that was because the Doctor trusted him and he saved my life. Gwen tried to befriend me by inviting me to go shopping – girl time, as she said, is good for a broken heart. I kindly turned it down. I didn’t feel like leaving the sanctuary of Torchwood with someone I knew so little and wasn’t trying to get to know.

The truth is, after the Doctor left, I became a zombie of sorts with a forever present pain in my chest. Maybe he was right about me being too attached to him. I actually knew he was right, because now without him, I was fading into darkness. It seemed impossible for me to be happy. Every time I closed my eyes at night to sleep, all I could see is his face as he tells me he’s leaving without me. This kept me awake many nights at a time, making me sleep only a few hours every three days and leaving bags under my eyes.

When I think about it, I realize how my life now resembled the one with Leonardo. Spending hours stuck in a room in some sort of mesmerized state, having my meals taken to me… The thought of it sent a shiver up my spine and I got up from my bed not sure what I’m doing. I walked up to the main room of Headquarters – I was a floor bellow – and walk into the place, unsure of myself. They’re all there like most of the time. They had a home away from here and a life besides work, but they spent so much of their time here you would have never guessed.