Break Me (Doctor Who Fanfiction)

Chapter 20 ― Lies And Truth

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CHAPTER 2

LIES AND TRUTH

The Doctor and I went back to the TARDIS and I couldn’t help but let out a long yawn as I closed the door behind me. I had been awake for far too long.

“Goodnight, Doctor, see you in the morning,” I said, about to go find my old bed room.

“AJ, what are you doing?”

“Going to bed, any objections?” I replied.

“We said one trip, Ariella... I’m taking you home,” the Doctor said in a grave voice.

I turned to him, already very upset.

“Why?” I demanded, getting tired of him being so vague and never telling me the truth.

“Because.”

“Because isn’t an answer!” I yelled, being overtaken by anger. “Why can’t I stay with you, Doctor? Why can’t I travel in the TARDIS a little longer? Why are you in such a rush to get rid of me?”

He looked at the ground, very sad. Obviously, he wasn’t the one losing their patience. There was a long silence and I was about to start yelling again when he put a hand up, demanding I say nothing. He walked up to me and looked deeply in my eyes and he placed his hands on my shoulders.

“Because you can’t... Because I want you to get over me. I want you to move on with your life without me. I can’t keep you, Ariella. You’ll grow old and die no matter what, I want you to at least try to live the normal life you always wanted before you do. By saying no, I only say so in your best interest of a happy life. You won’t ever get over this kind of life if you keep travelling with me and as much as I’d want you around, it’d be selfish of me to deny you a chance at that human life before it’s too late...” he said softly, looking so sad.

I looked in his eyes back and tears started to rise in mine. Anger and sadness all mixed into one inside of me about to explode. Before I knew, I had raised my hand and slapped the Doctor across the face as hard as I could.

I backed away, absolutely terrified of what I had just done. How could I possibly hit the person I love more than anything? But I didn’t regret it, because as much as my act was repulsive and irrational, he deserved it.

His hand on his cheek, he looked at me in shock, just as surprised of the gesture as I was.

“AJ-“ he started.

“You’re lying.”

“I’m-“

“Shut up! You are lying to me! I know the truth and you do too. Amy told me everything! I am never going to grow old and die, Doctor, and you know that very well. I am half Time Lady,” I yelled at him.

“She... she told you...” he said.

“I know she and Rory are my parents and that River is my sister. I know that, like you, I can regenerate and live forever. And you know all that too so what you’ve just told me is absolute bullshit.”

“I’m so sorry... I-I...”

“You thought I didn’t know and that you can use it as an excuse to dump me back on Earth like when you left me with Torchwood.”

My blood was boiling with rage, but he looked absolutely regretful. He sat down in the stairs and kept his eyes down on his hands. Somehow right then, I understood that there was something wrong with him. Something that didn’t have to do with me at all.

Suddenly, my anger from his lie evaporated and the only feeling I had was worry for him. I took two very long and deep breaths to clear my head and sat down in the stairs next to him.

“I should have doubted that you knew... Today, you showed yourself to be much more confident and sure of yourself. As if you were in power or just felt powerful. You were braver too. You used to be so shy, you barely spoke. You were... broken? But you’ve been fixed, AJ,” he sighed.

“Did I necessarily change for the worse?” I asked, frowning.

“No, not at all, AJ. I like the new you,” he said, giving me a light smile.

A silence fell and I knew there was something he really wanted to say, he just needed to be encouraged to. I reached to take the Doctor’s hand in mine and squeezed it comfortingly.

“Doctor... The reason you’re taking me back to Earth, he has nothing to do with me, does it? There something else bothering you... You can tell me, you know. Just because I’m in love with you, doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. Losing you over that wouldn’t be worth it.”

“I guess you can know... I’m dying...”

And he told me everything – the date of his death, the place, the time. He knew everything as if it was mapped out a long time ago. I sat there in silence, tears rolling down my cheeks, trying so hard to contain my grief of the news.

“I want to be there...” I said softly. “When it happens, I don’t want you to be alone. I’m going to be there for you, Doctor,” I promised and he wrapped one arm around me, pulling me close against his chest.