Synonym

Chapter 49

Although between Finn and Sam sleeping with their girlfriends, being more popular than them, and beating the shit out of them and the basketball team, they already hated the lacrosse team with everything they were.

Finn walked away without even getting a slap on the wrist.

Finn couldn't hold back his smile even though he desperately tried. "Alec was a dick anyway. I was waiting for that moment for years. Either way, let's not bring up the times I've started fights in interviews, that might make me look bad."

"Might?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, it will make me look bad."

Finn and I laughed our way to the check in, where our bags were weighed, tagged, and sent off to Tokyo. We went straight to the TSA line for our gates after that. LaGuardia didn't have a customs area so their only international flights were to Montreal and Toronto where US officers processed you there. It made security easy this time around but hell later on.

The line slowly moved down the ramp hallway until we reached the wooden podium and handed the woman our passports and tickets. Right after she told us we were good to go and we walked past her stand, Jason's voice rang out across the quiet area.

"Hey! Sylvia! Finn!" He yelled. Both of our heads snapped up past the security screeners to see Jason and Rob waving like idiots from the other side of security, probably coming to wait for us so they could cause a scene.

Finn scoffed from behind me while I let out an exhale of annoyance. "Those idiots are going to get us kicked out." I muttered to Finn.

"If at any point on this trip we get arrested or stuck in Japan or Canada, I'm blaming Jason."

"Me too." Our bags went through the scanner while I slipped off my sneakers and stood in the body scanner with my arms raised above my head. The grey scanner spun around me in between the glass before the TSA agent waved me out, to follow Finn who was gathering our bags and slipping on his shoes.

I grabbed my black Nike trainers and took a seat at a grey bench next to the wall while Jason and Rob harassed Finn now that we had crossed the security line. My eyes flickered up from tying my shoes when I felt a presence in front of me.

A girl, no older than 11, stood in front of me with a wide smile on her face. She had blonde curly hair and deep ocean eyes, her face sparkling with life and a coy grin. "Hi! I'm Maddy, can I get a picture?" Her sweet voice asked softly.

My eyes flickered up to who I assumed was her father, a tall tanned man with jet black hair so unlike his daughters. "Sure, I'd love to take a picture with such a pretty girl." I smiled politely. Maddy turned and stood next to me where I sat. I happily put my arm over her shoulder and smiled as the father snapped a quick picture.

Before she could run off, her frail hand slipped an envelope into my hand before smiling at me and mumbling a 'thanks' before hiding behind her father's jean clad leg. When they moved away from the security area, my eyes fell on the white envelope in my hand.

My dark brown irises darted to Finn who was still chatting animatedly with Jason and Rob before returning to the letter. I carefully opened the seal so I could keep the contents in the package later. Two pages of neatly hand printed writing unfolded in my hands.

Dear Sylvia,

My name is Maddy and I just turned 11. My dad told me that you would be at the airport the same day we were, so I hoped to run into you. If you are reading this, obviously I did. Although I can't guarantee we had a nice interaction; I tend to be shy in person.

Either way, I wanted to write this letter to let you know that I admire you for following your dreams and staying strong. My older sister played lacrosse before she died. We talked about you when you were in high school. Jamie was raped in August. My family thinks I'm too young to understand, but I know the truth.

Jamie would break down constantly and tell me how broken and violated she felt. We shared a room when she was alive, Jamie said I was the only one she trusted. The point is, I admire you even more for speaking out after what happened to you and staying strong. I don't doubt that you go through some horrible weeks like Jamie did, but you never show it.

I want to be like you one day. I want to be strong and powerful without caring about other people and their opinions. Jamie wanted to be like you too, but she said she couldn't. That's why she overdosed. I found her body one night when she wouldn't wake up. Once again, I knew more than my parents were letting on.

Both Jamie and I want you to succeed in Tokyo. We had been watching you since you were first on the regional news last September. I play baseball but I want to play with the guys. My dream would be to be as successful as you. I wish you luck, Sylvia. Your story is important to me and many other people. Please, live on to do great things that other people couldn't. It's what Jamie would have wanted.

Maddy

I had to blink back tears and cover my mouth with my right hand. That poor girl had lost her sister after monsters took her livelihood. That hurt more than I think anyone realized. Suddenly, I didn't care that I was bawling in the middle of an airport. Maddy was such a strong girl to articulate that at such a young age.

I could barely even process those compliments. All I could think of was simply 'how'. How did a sixth grader see me and want to aspire to my 'level'? How was a victim or a borderline nude model a goal? What had I done to deserve such a heartfelt letter?

But it didn't matter. That's was Maddy's point. I did what I wanted, everyone else be damned. I made my own rules because I wanted to be equal. I didn't want to be the lesser half or the damaged one. Lacrosse was my life, but this isn't what it was about anymore. It was about showing the world that women can do what men do. That survivors are strong and they shouldn't be ashamed for speaking out.

So many people in my life had tried to drill that into my head and I just brushed it off, but then this sweat innocent child tells me about the horrid things that she's heard and how she looks up to me and finally; finally, I get the message. This is bigger than me, this is about everyone who ever felt like they weren't enough. Because everyone is enough.

Hot tears blurred my vision as it darted back to my smiling boyfriend, unaware that I was watching him.

Finn.

How God damn lucky I was to have him, because had he not been there I wouldn't be here today. I wouldn't be on the road to the Olympics, I wouldn't be happy, I might not have even been alive. Whether by Ryan's hand or mine, the dark side of me knew that my heart would not be beating today if I didn't have the support Finn provided me.

I could only hope that by speaking out I was providing comfort to others. Maybe that's all Jamie would have needed. But maybe there was no saving her.

Finn saved me and taught me my worth by loving me for who I was, damaged or not.

Love like ours was one in a million, maybe even a billion.

In my moments of darkness, Griffin Riley was my salvation and he always would be.