POEMS

(74)

"All my life I've had people tell me;

"You're 16. What do you know?

You don't pay taxes.

You don't pay bills or a mortgage.

You don't worry about having a job.

You don't have mouths to feed."

You're right.

I'm only 16.

But at the age of 13 I was already contemplating suicide.

At the age of 13 I was relentlessly told how ugly, fat, and untalented I was.

How I would never amount to anything.

At 15 I held a bottle of pills in my hands several times a week.

At 15 my parents fought so loudly the whole house would shake.

At 15 I started telling myself how fat and worthless I was.

At 15 I stopped eating for two months.

By the age of 16 my thighs were covered in battle scars.

At 16 I learned what it was like to pray every night that I wouldn't wake up to see the sun.

At 16 I swallowed a bottle of pills and had my stomach pumped in the middle 3rd period.

At 16 I woke up in a hospital and crying and screaming because I wasn't dead.

At 16 I was told my depression and anxiety were just cries for attention.

At 16 I learned what it was like to feel the rejection from the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally.

I learned what it was like to feel the love my parents used to have for me drain out of their eyes.

So I maybe 16 but I feel like I am a thousand years old. I have fought battles you cannot even begin to imagine.

I have endured years of relentless torment and taunts, and when I asked for help I was told I deserved it.

I may be 16 but I have endured more than you ever have in your 36 years of life.

So I may not have to pay taxes.

But at 16 I have anxiety attacks over the piles of homework I have to turn in the next day.

I may not have to worry about feeding my kids.

but even after 2 years of rehabilitation I still get depressed if I eat too much.

So you tell me;

"You're 16. What do you know?"

And my answer will always be;

"Far too much""