Until My Last Breath

Chapter 66

‚Good job.' I mentally curse myself for having such an annoying mind before I intertwine our hands gently, pulling him along. "Come on. I'm more than tired and we have to catch a flight in the morning." I smile, reaching up to kiss his cheek. Shawn nods, a frown still on his face but eventually he returns the smile.

„Don't worry. There's no time for a family dinner this time." I pout, making him chuckle. "I think you family is lovely." "They say the same about you, love." Shawn replies, a heart warming smile on his face.

This damn smile... everytime he looks at me like that I feel even worse. I know that it won't end good when I tell him and I still have this uneasy feeling while thinking about tomorrow. What if it's actually.... no it can't be.

It's a misunderstanding. Maybe he is still into something with the drugs and everything. I don't even know what I would rather see........................................................................

I wake up to the sun shining trough the window directly into my face. My eyes close tightly, a sigh escaping my lips as I rub a hand over my face.

Slowly, I open them to be met with Shawn's bare back, him sleeping peacefully on his side of the bed. Normally I'm not awake at all at this time.

It's half past five in the morning and I'm not a morning person at all but today... it's different. I'm completely awake. I almost feel nauseous as I get up quietly to take my medicine before I forget again.

Trough the half opened door I watch Shawn, his fluffy  hair all over the place and his toned arm folded under his head, the other one disappearing under the pillow.

After swallowing the pills, I splash water into my face continuing to brush my teeth and do my morning routine. Once ai finished, I stroll back to the hotel bed, standing on the edge to debates what I should do next.

I reach for my phone m, realizing hoe shaky my hands are. I'm nervous. Extremely nervous. Should I wait till he meets up with that person or should I do it before? I think it's better if I tell him after.

He has an interview today and some important meeting which I'm not going to take part, so I would just distract him. Guess, I have to wait about thirteen hours to get this off my chest.

Great... I could practice how to say it. So how do I start? Should I beat around the bush or just be straight forward. Should I cry? Usually people would but it's just... I don't know. The only feeling I have today is unbearable nervousness.

"Good Morning stalker." I hear a deep, kinda raspy voice say causing me to snap out of my thoughts. My eyes meet his warm hazel ones, an adorable lazy smile spread across his lips.

I urge myself to return the gesture, my heart skipping a beat as his relaxed expression turns into a frown. He knows something is up. "Babe, you look like you are freezing. Come here, we still have almost an hour." Shawn says, holding up the blanket so I could slip under it.

I look down to see my hands still shaking and even though I'm a bit cold, I know that it isn't because of that. At least he thinks so. Hesitantly I crawl under the duvet with him, my back against his bare chest.

„Since when are you up so soon?" Shawn murmurs tiredly, his large hands moving along my arm in an attempt to warm me up. I sigh, moving even closer to him, my head resting on his arm. "Uh I just couldn't sleep anymore." I mumble, noticing the clearly visible veins along his arm.

It's silent for a moment and I almost thought that he had fallen asleep again, so I start to trace the veins popping out of his skin.

"Hmm." He hums, the deep sound making his chest slightly vibrate. "That feel nice." He adds, referring to me dancing my fingertips along his smooth skin.

Smiling lightly I turn around in his grip, looking up at him trough my eyelashes. I now start to brush mu thumb along his jaw until I spot his prominent neck vein, driving my index finger over it.

He moves his head lightly to the side, probably wanting me to continue. A quiet chuckle leaves my lips as I cuddle into his chest, placing a kiss on the warm flesh. "You know..." Shawn says after a few moments of silence.

„I could get used to that." I feel his soft lips on my forehead for a short moment, making my heart flutter and clench in pain at the same time. I reply nothing, hoping that he just said it because he is still half asleep. Closing my eyes I try to savor this moment as long as possible.

His arms securely around me, my head against his chest, his one on top of mine and his fingers drawing patterns on the skin under my shirt. But of course someone had to interrupt it. Groaning Shawn rolls on top of me to reach towards his phone, my breath getting caught in my throat.

„I'm going to kill this thing soon." He mutters, running a hand through his hair to push the hanging curls away. "You will kill me first." I breath out, attempting to push his heavy body off mine. Smiling innocently he lays next to me again as he brings the phone up to his ear. "Yes Andrew?"

„What now? I tought-" he trails off, pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "Okey fine. See ya." I raise my eyebrows, awaiting an explanation as he leans over to give me a sweet kiss. He pecks my lips one last time before he pulls back, standing up to get changed.

„We are taking an earlier flight, so we have to be ready in 10 minutes." Shawn sighs, slipping a white T- shirt on after pulling up his pants. I rush into the bathroom, to put on the clothes I already placed onto the sink.

Before I know it we are in the back of a car, driving towards my grandmas house since I'm staying there until the boys are finished with the meeting. "Are you sure you don't want to come with us? I'm sure no one would mind." Shawn asks, his hand gently squeezing my thigh.

I shake my head, smiling. "I think my grandma is already waiting to see me again. Have fun and bye guys." I say, to Geoff and Andrew in the front before starting to get out of the car. "Wait." Shawn says, stopping me.

„Didn't you forget something?" At first I'm just staring at him confused but then I get why he is grinning. Rolling my eyes I lean in, knowing that he would make a scene if I didn't kiss him.

My cheeks flushing as I feel the eyes of the others on us, picturing their stupid smirks. "Hmm." Shawn hums, a somewhat loud peck becoming audible as he pulls away. "I'll text you later." He smiles, my face beet red by now.

"Yeah." I mumble, finally getting out of the car. I immediately walk to the front door, being excited to see her again and to be home again. "I'm coming!" I hear her call after I pressed the bell.

Waiting for her to open the door I look down the street and of course memories had to flood back into my head of me and my... ex best friend. I take a deep breath, trying to leave these thoughts behind me now. I have a bad feeling about this day....