Jaebeom is a perfectionist who has a decent English vocabulary but refuses to speak to anyone, as he knows his accent and skills are not perfect. He is challenged to by the CEO of JYP Entertainment to go to the States for specialty English Language...
With a little leeway on the work front, Sharay settled into a routine of going to the beach and walking for hours on end in silence. She stopped listening to music, especially anything associated with Jaebeom, which included "Hamilton." She didn't contact any of the Chu's, because she didn't want to have to talk with them about Jaebeom or hear their opinions. She stopped all social media too. The one time Daniel started cursing out Jaebeom, she'd actually stopped him with a simple, "Don't. That doesn't help."
After a week, Sharay came to me and her father and said she was heading back to Korea. She missed the kids she worked with in the church nursery, wanted to complete her commitment to helping the trainees and idols at JYPE with their English, and she stated plainly that running away wasn't helping or solving anything. My heart broke when she left, as her final words to me at the security check in were, "Why did I ever think I was good enough for him? I should've known this was going to happen, but I was broadsided. I'm just gonna have to find a way to be happy for him or else what I feel for him is nothing but selfish."
The whole time she was with us, and for the next almost six months, she never cried. I was concerned that when she started to cry she wouldn't be able to stop. I voiced my concern about this to Jaebeom during one of our talks, and he assured me that, even though he wouldn't be able to be there for her, he would make sure she had support if and when the time came. Six months of tears would be a lot of tears when they finally were released.
I knew that Sharay made a point of checking the GOT7 schedule to ensure she wouldn't run into Jaebeom. Aside from trying to go a fan sign about two months out, she said she'd not bumped into him once. As far as the fan sign event, she shared that she'd left after just a few moments and had been way in the back. He didn't even know she'd been there; much less know she'd left early. I could hear the resignation in her voice as she said, "He sang, danced, and smiled at all the Ahgase. He seems to have moved on, as if I'd never existed. I wish I could do that. I think of him every moment I'm not fully focused on my work or on helping one of the children. That respite only lasts for a couple of minutes at a time as, even then, he creeps into my thoughts. It sounds so pathetic to admit that out loud. How long will it take before I can forget him too?"
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I knew the last part was a rhetorical question, but I stupidly offered, "We never forget those we love."
"Then I guess he really never loved me," she reasoned, and my heart ached to tell her that he was going through the same thing, she just didn't know it.
Sharay had made an effort to keep herself busy almost 24/7. In addition to the work with JYPE, she'd been serving at church in the nursery on Sundays, volunteering at an orphanage, taking some voice and acting lessons for her own advancement, and in August she'd signed up for additional online classes at university and was finishing up her end of semester exams tomorrow, December 3rd, having received permission to complete her online exams early. She rarely shared details of her day, but rather focused on generalities. Most conversations were a repeat of the previous ones with very little new information.
