Liquorice Honey (A Draco Malfoy x Reader fanfic)

35: Christmas Memoir

''(Y/N), no, I—''

''I knew this would happen!'' she yelled, ''Run on home to your daddy, Draco Malfoy, because you've said too much!''

She ran back into the common room, disappearing into her dorm before Draco could even see her. He decided it would probably be best to copy her, so he went off into his dorm room; only to find a familiar Great Horned Owl sitting on the windowsill.

''She's safe, Opal,'' he mumbled, ''She's safe. Tell Isabel, tell her father...(Y/N) Silverlie is safe.''

Never before had he seen an owl look truly surprised.

But he knew she'd make sure to tell (Y/N)'s father she was at least a little safer now...

~

Christmas rolled around quickly, but it wasn't right at all.

The people she wanted to spend it with weren't here.

She wanted to hear Isabel's stupid little comments about Draco and (Y/N) not being allowed to show PDA in the common room...she wanted one of those quiet evenings by the fire, snuggled into Draco's side as she read...she wanted him to hold her, to tell her he loved her...

She was a bitter wreck of emotions, and what made it all worse was that Luna hadn't been replying to her owls. (Y/N) just had to hope nothing had happened to her...

''Enjoying Christmas by yourself, are you, furball?'' came a voice that definitely belonged to one of Pansy's friends.

''Piss off!'' (Y/N) yelled back, kicking her dorm room door closed and screeching into a pillow.

Christmas Day wasn't much better; just seeing Isabel's familiar scrawl was tear jerking.

She'd sent six entire parcels of American sweets, along with god knows how many others filled with stupid little things.

There was another jumper from Mrs Weasley, along with more cake than usual.

Her father had managed to send things; but it was only little things, not that (Y/N) minded; it showed that he was keeping himself safe.

Six or seven handmade, extremely beautiful dresses, a long grey coat with flower shaped gold buttons and with about a million pairs of earrings came from Trixie.

Opal had sent books on Transfiguration; apparently she wasn't going to stop trying to push the Animagus thing. She also sent a book about how to deal with curses.

There was an abundant amount of sweets from Harry and Hermione, too, along with a small cat pin that looked a lot like Amorita.

Luna's presents had been sitting under (Y/N)'s bed since mid-November, but (Y/N) opened them last; it was a rather large white bunny plushie, along with a lot of books on magical creatures and a subscription to the Quibbler for next year.

She lay down on her bed with the bunny and Amorita, staring pointlessly up at the ceiling, fighting sleep.

She could hear Anneliese and Pansy's group outside, having a rather fun time, by the sounds of it; she couldn't say she wasn't jealous. Apparently someone had gotten themselves a boyfriend for Christmas; she didn't hear names, but again, she was jealous. And lonely.

Because she was spending Christmas on her own, as it was too dangerous to try and get home; she decided to gaze out of the window again, the soft lavender scent emanating from the hare calming her ever so slightly...

''I wonder what Draco's doing right now?'' she mused, talking to herself.

She shook her head, sighing, ''it doesn't matter. He's lost interest in me anyway...'' Then the tears began again; she held the plushie closer, as if it was all she had left in life.

''You're an idiot, (Y/N) Silverlie,'' she sobbed, ''you're mad, just like Ron said! I knew this would happen! Everyone did! And yet I tried anyway!''

The sobbing soon turned to tears of complete and utter despair.

She felt lost, alone.

Perhaps she should have taken her mother up on her offer.

Because then he could have been standing here with her, telling her that everything would be okay...

~

Eyes filled with anguish stared up at the moon that night.

Draco knew that (Y/N) loved the night sky, and looking up at all of the little constellations...

Perhaps she was looking at the moon tonight, too.

The physical pain of her slapping him may have been gone now, but the pain of yet again being the cause of her tears, her bitter anger...

He wasn't sure if he could ever face (Y/N) again after everything he'd put her through.

He felt endlessly selfish for what he'd done, and he'd promised himself he wouldn't be angry if he returned to find her crying on someone else's shoulder.

Because he didn't deserve her; her smile, her kind words, her adorable little gestures...

She was the brightest star in the sky, and he'd been the one to extinguish her light.

A knock came on the door; for a split, desperate second, he wanted it to be (Y/N) behind it, but he knew it wouldn't be.

As Draco didn't respond, the person behind the door opened it themselves.

''Are you alright, Draco, dear?'' came his mother's voice.

He initially nodded, but he stopped himself. ''No. Not at all, actually.''

Narcissa paused before replying, ''is this about your task?''

He nodded, but then shook his head.

''I don't know.''

He walked away from the window, throwing himself down on his bed, trying desperately to stay composed.

''Then this is about (Y/N), then?'' Narcissa asked, quietly.She'd been hearing this and that about her from the girl's mother; she'd made it very clear that her daughter and Draco were together, and she got visibly angry about not being able to use it as a weapon against the poor girl.

And Narcissa had wanted to speak with (Y/N) ever since; she had a feeling the version she'd been told about was very different to the real one.

''How did you...?'' Draco breathed.

''Her mother never stops talking about her. But that doesn't matter,'' she replied, ''what does matter is you telling me what you did.''

Draco couldn't find the words to say what he wanted to; so he just repeated what (Y/N) had said.

''I was a coward,'' he had to fight back the tears now, seeing (Y/N)'s angry, confused expression clearly in his head, ''and I hurt her.''

He found his eyes drifting back to the moon outside. He couldn't fight the tears back anymore.

Realising she probably couldn't do much to improve the situation, short of kidnapping (Y/N), Narcissa stood up to leave.

''If (Y/N) is this precious to you, then you'll develop the strength to apologise,'' she paused, ''because you should treasure those you love, even if it means hurting yourself.''

No more words were spoken; all that could be heard from that point on were soft tears.

From the confused, despairing furball girl in Hogwarts, and the completely lost, anguished boy in Malfoy Manor.

They needed each other, but the world chose for them to be apart.