It's Only The Beginning (Book One)

One

Demi

I kept myself relaxed back against the couch, blankly staring at the TV that was playing an old episode of Criminal Minds. I had my left hand settled on my stomach, holding my phone with my right as I pointlessly scrolled through social media. I know I'll regret it but I'm a gluten for punishment. I can't stop myself from staring at the photo of Nick Jonas and his mystery blonde, every time I find myself staring at it, it makes the crack in my heart worse.

When did I get so unlucky with love?

"Why do I keep doing this to myself?" I locked my phone and threw it down onto the couch with a groan. I turned my attention briefly back to the TV, my fingers combing through my hair as I glanced back down at my stomach where my hand still lay. "I'm not ready to be a mom" I shook my head and pushed myself up from the couch, beginning into the kitchen but I stopped and turned towards the front door at the sound of the doorbell.

"Hi Momma" I rolled my eyes at her light teasing.

"Don't call me that, Kels" a smirk spread across Kelsey's face as I allowed her into the house.

"Did you forget that you have a meeting in half an hour?" I glanced down at what I was wearing, just a baggy top and a pair of sweatpants. I have to say that my mind hasn't been able to focus on anything but the baby nestled away inside me.

"Can I not just go in this?" she just raised her eyebrows at me. "Fine, I'll go and change" I headed towards the stairs, flashing Kelsey a glare as she just shook her head at me. She turned her attention then to Batman and Ella who were dancing around her feet.

I made my way into the master bedroom and began straight towards my closet so that I could grab out a change of clothes. I settled on a white tee and a ripped-up pair of light washed boyfriend jeans. I then wondered into the master bathroom once I'd changed and applied a light layer of makeup to my face before turning to leave the room, it thankfully helped me to look less like a zombie due to my serious lack of sleep. Even if I manage to fall asleep, I wake up from some messed-up dream or nightmare.

I could still hear Kelsey fussing Batman and Cinderella as I began downstairs, stepping into the living room to see the dogs bouncing all over her as she sat on the couch.

"I'm ready" she turned to me with a grateful smile and fought off my dogs so she could stand.

"Your dogs are vicious as fuck" she smoothed out the shirt that she was wearing that had been slightly creased and was covered in black fur.

"You sat down. Are we going?"

"Yeah, the cars been waiting for the past 20 minutes" I rolled my eyes and leant to grab my phone off the arm of the couch, unlocking it briefly to see that I had received a message.

Nick: Hi Dem. I'm sorry about everything. I miss you and the fun times we used to have! Is there any chance we could meet up? x

I locked my phone and shoved it into the pocket of my jeans but not before Kelsey noticed that something was obviously wrong.

"Who was that?" I just shook my head.

"Nobody important" she nodded but I knew she wasn't convinced. I hoped I'd start to get over our failed attempt at a relationship, but I now fear that may never happen. I'm pregnant with his baby, how can I just forget that we were once in a relationship?

Nick Jonas has crawled his way into my heart and I don't think he'll ever leave.

-

"I can't wait for tour to start up again" I spoke, leaning back against the couch after handing Kelsey her coffee. "I can't wait to get out the US. I can't wait to travel around Europe and forget everything that's going on" she sent me a small sympathetic smile, my fingers locking into Batman's fur as he remained curled in a ball on my lap. "Would you hate me if I said that I didn't want this baby?" I eventually broke the silence that fell around us, my eyes remaining locked on Batman, but I could feel Kelsey's eyes burning into me.

"I could never hate you, Dems" I glanced to her, allowing her to see the tears that had welled in my eyes and were threatening to roll down my cheeks. "It's your baby and it's your body, but I'll give you this little piece of advice, tell Nick first. I know you don't want to hear it and you wished it wasn't happening but this is his baby as well and he has a right to know that they exist" I wiped at my fallen tears and sniffled, glancing down at Batman who was looking up at me, his brown eyes curious with worry. I will always be amazed at how dogs know something is wrong.

"I-I know that but-but I don't know whether I want to see him. Our relationship lasted for three months, Kels" Kelsey flashed me a small and sympathetic smile. "I have never fallen for someone so hard before, even with Wilmer, it-it wasn't this intense" I wiped at my cheeks, sending Kelsey a grateful smile as she handed me a tissue. "I never thought I could love someone as much as I loved Wilmer. Nick sort of sprung up on me. I don't think I'd be able to tell him that I want to abort his baby" I lowered my head onto Kelsey's shoulder as she circled her arm around me.

"It's your choice, Dems. I just thought I'd give you my opinion, which you did kind of ask for. Nick deserves to know about the baby whether you terminate the pregnancy or not."

Will I ever find the courage to tell him?

——