Fried Burrito

t w E N t y - o N e

When my mom said she'd be home more because her job allowed her to be, I knew that it was going to be bad. I didn't think it was going to be this bad though. 

The six idiots and I have not spoke since CJ revealed what happened to me and our Dad has been out a lot more for his job since our mother was home. Every morning was filled with awkward family meals, repeated movies, and painfully uncomfortable conversations.

Being home sucked and I was starting to dislike every second of it. 

"What are you in here overthinking about, champ?" questioned a voice I missed all too much.

"Dad!" I beamed happily. I greeted him with a bear hug and a smile. 
"I've come bearing gifts," he said while he came up the rest of the treehouse steps. "Pizza rolls and good news."
"I only want the pizza rolls," I laughed, and he laughed with me as he sat down next to me. 

"How's my bucket of sunshine doing?"

I rolled my eyes at his new nickname that didn't make any sense before I answered. 

"I'm doing alright." I shrugged before I ate a pizza roll.

"Alright?" he looked at me. "You've been coming up here to sit alone for days and you're awfully quiet when it comes time for dinner."
"Well..." Should I tell him? 

"Come on Caden, out of all the people in the world, you know you can trust me... your old man."

He nudged me shoulder a few times and I couldn't help myself from letting my emotions spill over. 

"Is this about Jace? I've seen him everywhere but here with you."

My heart dropped. Why was my dad seeing him?
"What do you mean 'everywhere but here'? Where have you been seeing him?"

"He helps me when I have realtor's block." he stated quickly.

Realtor's block?

"Excuse me? Is that even a thing?"

"He is a very insightful person when I have trouble pitching houses!" he exclaimed. I couldn't help but shake my head at him. "Plus, it doesn't hurt to get to know the boy my daughter spends most of her time with. At least, you used to... What happened?"

I sighed and switched my gaze to the floor.

"Things got complicated."

"Complicated how?"
"I told him I didn't love him... and I don't think that's true."
"Then why would you say that to him?"
"I wanted him to leave me alone. I've just been going through a lot lately and I didn't want to drag him down with me. He doesn't deserve that."
"And who are you to decide that?"

I don't know.

"Sweetheart, you do know that if someone wants to do something for you regardless of the circumstances, they do care about you right?"
"Yes, I know... It's just really hard. Other things happened that made me feel different about myself and I don't know... I feel like it'd be best for me to be alone until I properly figure out how I feel."
"Hm, okay. I understand that logic," he nodded softly. "But, what kind of things are you referring to?"

"Well, a little while ago, CJ and I had a conversation about... my childhood. He connected a weird dream I had to a traumatic experience that happened when I was too young to remember."

"What happened?"

"Remember when Mom was starting out and she used to hold meetings out home?"
He nodded.

"One of her male colleagues got ahold of me and he... he-"
"He what?" Dad's voice sounded angry and fearful, almost as if his worst nightmare had come true.

"He-" I couldn't even say it without feeling sick to my stomach. 

Dad took my silence as confirmation for the answer I was too disgusted to say. He stood up with his fists clenched tightly in his hair.

"Does your mother know about this?" he questioned. "Why didn't you say something before? Who was hiding this from you?"

"I don't know but I-"

"Don't you move." he ordered instead seconds before he left me and disappeared inside our house. 

I followed him anyway. I didn't want him to do or say anything stupid.

"Dad wait!" 

By the time I made it to where he was, my mom and him were already arguing like there was no tomorrow. 

"How could you keep something like that from me? Why would you let that happen to our little girl? Our only girl?!" 

"You think that poorly of me to think I let something like that happen? I can't believe you."
"You can't believe me? You can't believe me? This is your fault, no wonder you-"
"What? I what, Charles?"

Dad held himself back from saying anything he would regret. He took a step back and stared at my her in wonder.

"You know Luna, you've done a lot of questionable things before but never something like this."
"What are you trying to say?" 

"I need space."

And for the first time, I saw a look of sadness become apparent in their eyes. The color drained from my mother's face as she watched my Dad go. He came over to where I was standing and pulled me along with him.

"I'm so sorry this happened to you Caden, you didn't deserve this at all," he whispered as he hugged me tightly. "I love you so so much."

He let me go and left before he slipped into the night. I was at a lost for words as I attempted to replay and process what just happened. It was all too real and it only occurred because I said something. I didn't have to say anything. I shouldn't have said anything. Now everything is more messed up than before and I've brought more people into it.

Oh my gosh... What have I done?