Fried Burrito

t w E N t y - f O U r

I ran my fingers through his hair and trailed my fingers down his cheeks. My heart felt extremely content at this moment, which was the best it had felt all summer. 

It was three a.m. and I was in Jace's bed admiring him in his sleep. We'd experienced a lot of episodes with each other but, it was nothing like this. He'd opened up to me about something deeper than his childhood and his embarrassing stories... He'd given me the keys to understanding the way he was and why he looked at the things the way he did. I found myself feeling more connected to him than I ever had after this conversation but once he cried, I knew I couldn't let go of him. This boy deserved to be loved and understood just as much as I did, I never saw that before. It was only fair for me to fully open up to him, transparency was key here.

"Jace?" I purred softly into his ear.

I knew he wouldn't be awake but if it was for me, he surely would have been in a second.

At the sound of my voice, his eyes fluttered open and he looked at me; his sandy, dark, and full brown eyes locked onto my petite frame and it gave me chills.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?" he questioned as his hands transitioned from his side of the bed to mine.

"No, I need to tell you how I feel."

"Caden, you don't-"

"But I want to, you deserve to know how I feel."
So we sat up. We faced each other in our half naked bodies as I silently prepared to bare my emotions to him. 

"As you know, I have been going through a lot with my family lately and because I was so confused, I let everything that was happening take over our relationship. I now realize that what we had didn't have anything to do with my past."
"Had?"

I looked over at him, he looked anxious at my choice of words.

"Have," I corrected myself as I intertwined my fingers in his. "I'm not letting you go."
Jace smiled softly and held my hand closer to his heart before I continued.

"I spent a lot of time by myself and I surprisingly learned a lot of different things. The other night when you saw me crying outside, I had just stood up to my mom after she found out about everything that happened to me. She didn't take it well and we're not speaking but it was something that had to happen."
"What happened to you?"
"A long time ago, my innocence was taken from me from a guy that used to work with my mom and I just found out about it. I was touched in a way I shouldn't have been," I sighed and shook my head. "It's still hard to talk about but it explained a lot about the way things were in my life. It's why my brothers were over-protective of me... why I reacted so badly to us having sex, and it's why I struggled so much with expressing myself." 
"Caden, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize it was this deep."

"It's okay, it's not your fault."
"It's not your fault either."

"It feels like it is... My dad found out and he left for a little."

"Is he coming back?"
"I don't know. All I know is my family blames me for it."

Jace held me close while my arms wrapped around his chest.

"That's not fair, none of this deserves to be pinned on you."
"I know," I whispered. "But putting all of that aside, I just wanted to thank you for being so patient with me. I gave you a million reasons to run away from me yet you always came back every time... Being with you has been truly amazing."

"The feeling is way more than mutual sweetheart." he smiled back and even in the dark, his teeth shined brighter than the moon itself.

"I never thought I'd meet someone like you at all and I'm so glad I did," I reached out to kiss his knuckles, then his hand, then his shoulder, then his neck, then his forehead, then his cheek, then his nose, before hovering over his lips. "I love you, Jace."

He pressed his lips to mine a couple times before he told me he loved me too. 

"So much Caden." he whispered into my hair before he kissed my forehead and allowed me to slip asleep in his arms, feeling as happy as ever.