The Mistake That Broke Me

Chapter Six: The Mistake That Broke Me

Song: Lifeline by Thousand Foot Krutch

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"Table for two, please." Owen says kindly to the waitress standing by the door of the restaurant to greet us.

She smiles brightly. "Follow me, please."

We follow her to our table, and we take our seats. We order some drinks and appetizers, and then Owen and I discuss the future.

"So, Owen. I know you're not a fan of kids but...can we at least compromise? It's just that I really want kids and I....I would be happy if you let me have at least one."

Owen pops an edamame in his mouth. "Let's not discuss this right now, please? I don't want it to ruin the night."

I drum my fingers nervously against the table. "Oh....yeah, sure. I understand." I mutter quietly, feeling a bit down about that. I suck in my bottom lip.

I love Owen, and I won't let this tear us apart. If he doesn't want to have kids, then I won't push him. I don't want us breaking up because of an issue we can go around.

Wanting to lighten the mood, I bring the party up. "So, are you coming with me to the party tomorrow? You know you have to, babe." I say, smiling.

He nods. "Yes, of course I am. I couldn't miss on my love's birthday. Plus....I got you a surprise." He says, winking.

"A surprise?" I ask, my eyes widening.

"Yes. But it will have to wait till tomorrow."

My shoulders slump.

I hate surprises.

"Can you give me a hint?"

"Hmmm....let me think about that." 

Yessss.

"No. I cannot."

Noooo.

I glare at him.

"I'm sorry, it will just have to wait till tomorrow. You will love it, trust me."

"Alright, alright. I except my defeat. But if this surprise is another pair of green crocs again, you're going to be getting socks for Christmas." I say, laughing.

He holds his hands up in surrender. "Hey, it wasn't my idea, it was your mom's. She said you loved those types of shoes as a kid, so I figured why not try it again." He smiles at me.

I laugh. "Well never take advice from my mom. I've learned that from a young age."

And it was true.

When kids bullied me at school, she didn't suggest to call the school. She didn't suggest to ignore them, or be strong. She didn't encourage me and lift me up.  She simply looked me up and down and said, "Oh dear. It's no wonder why they tease you. You're not wearing enough make-up. Come now, mommy will show you how it's done."

I was seven.

Seven years old when she started coating my face in make-up.

I remember her saying "Women need a face. And in order to achieve this presentable face, we need make-up. Only make-up can make a girl beautiful."

Her words affected me from a very young age.

I grew up with a distorted view of what true beauty is.

And I was confused, but I didn't question it, because she's my mother, and I trusted and believed her every word when I was seven years old