Poetry

Cycle of the Seasons

I'm lost in my seasons. Nothing changes through the years.

I start off cold and lost. Full of worries and fears

"What if I don't ever escape? What if my life never changes?"

I feel control slip through my fingers ,as my sanity unhinges

I start to make a life for myself. Got a job, found hope , and ran after my dreams

I was ready to tackle life and accomplish all my goals through any means

Rejuvenated, I pushed all the pain aside, in hopes it would vanish

I hid my insecurities through humor and acted outlandish

I wore a smile, the perfect mask

Wearing a real one felt like an impossible task.

Life seamed to get better. All the clouds cleared away

New friends, new passions, a new love who i pray will always stay

I found myself not thinking about being happy and more with being happy

The ground I no longer saw, head held high, everything was so sunny

Then came the small things one by one.

Waking up in the morning, grinding through life, no longer fun

I began to change with the leaves, and fall to the ground

Failures, a broken heart, "What ifs'" were always in my head hanging around

My mask became my new face. I forgot who the real me looked like

Life through me down. I didn't have the strength to put up a fight

Time went so fast, i barely had time to process

Work became a grind, school became unbearable, a newly broken heart left a complete mess

Back in the beginning, like restarting a video game

It's funny how no matter how much we change, things go back to being the same

I've been here before I got nowhere fast

Things never change, but pain always last

A new year, same seasons, my future is my past

The cycle continues, I don't understand what I did wrong

My life feels like a broken record .Repeating the same three songs

I'm going in circles, but I just want to move forward

I'm tired of the same old year, the same old pain, I'm tired of the same old me.

I want to break the cycle, find my wings, and be free

I'm lost, at what cost? Is time frozen in a chilling frost?

If i continue will my life change? Or will i repeat the cycle and be exhaust?

I choose to continue fighting, dreaming, hoping for a change

This cycle is all in my head I know I'm not deranged

I will find a better life I will meet break this never ending clock

I'll find myself and I'll have life on lock.

Tomorrow is a new day and anything can happen to me