The Blue Society

Chapter 6

Beaton and I enter the house with Flynn's hazel eyes burning through us. His gaze is supernatural my skin feeling as if it were ablaze. Looking enraged he stood across the room as if he were a king. His broad frame and cold eyes only furthering the Regal image displayed. As we approached him, I fought the urge to bow my head in submission. An action I had repeatedly done when Flynn was upset with me. The cycle was always the same, Flynn and I would fight, and then I would come cowering to him like a scared little puppy. I was tired of that, I didn't want to be a submissive coward anymore. I was no longer his, we didn't belong to each other. It was time for me to be Gray without Flynn. I just needed to figure out who that was.

Slowly I raise my eyes from the ground sticking my chin the air up slightly. My confident mirage failing to hide my trembling hands. I could feel it happening again. The world around me beginning to narrow, my sight restrained to tunnel vision. I wanted to get out, I want to run, but I couldn't. My body tightens, my lungs seeming to collapse. I can feel it in the back of my skull, the dark matter falling over me. Tears sprung in my eyes and the shaking began to consume my whole body. All at once my legs gave out, my body colliding with the floor harshly.

" Shit sweetheart, can you hear me," Beaton yells moving towards me.

He sounds as if he's underwater, his voice distant, despite his presence in my face. I was fighting it, trying to maintain control. My eyes blurry from the number of tears falling at a rapid pace. Flynn scoops me up in his arms, kissing my forehead, holding me close. It made it worse, being confined in his arms. It felt as if a switch had been flipped, and all I wanted was to escape his suffocating grip. I struggle in his hold but he only grips me tighter. My breath becoming more sporadic, my eyes clamped shut. I keep clawing at Flynn, but he only shushes me and continued kissing my temple.

" Let her go, man," Beaton shouts.

" Stay out of this, She's having a panic attack," Flynn's voice seethed.

" You're not helping her."

" This always helps."

It never did. Pushing against his arms, I finally managed to wiggle free. Crawling away from the hazel-eyed boy, I pushed myself into the corner of the room. I could feel their eyes on me out to get me. My knees shoved up, I curl myself into a ball with my head buried. Hot tears ran down my cheeks as I began to rock slowly. I just wanted it to stop.

" Please, please," I whimpered, " Just end."

It wasn't. I felt a wave of nausea, that only increased my feeling of dread.

" Breathe Gray, Breathe," Flynn's voice yelled. His tone was similar to that of an echo, his rasp ringing in my head like a church bell. I inhaled deeply, sucking in the air that felt as if it were nonexistent. Shakily I exhale the dry air, its vacancy numbing the churning in my stomach. I relaxed my eyes repeating the action. Again, and again, and again. As I release my fourth breath, the overwhelming feeling of dread was beginning to diminish. Regaining some of my composure, I try to place my trembling body at the beach. The image typically calmed my nerves enough to stabilize myself.

I could hear the music of waves crashing against the shore. It's sonorous sound accompanied by the shrill noise of seagulls. The resonance of both, combining to create a serene composition. Dancing airly in the crystal womb of the sky, the salty smell of the ocean water filled my nostrils, signaling another exhale of breath. The waves such a magnificent blue rolled gently against the golden sand. Its grainy texture molding against my feet, as they sank deeper into the surface warmed by the burning sun. My heartbeat slowed and my lungs expanded, working to the metronome of the body of water. Feeling whole again, I wiggled my fingers releasing them from the tight fist they'd been clenched in. An ease was overcoming me, the panic fading, draining from the body. My senses began to click back on, allowing me to feel the air around me, and the way my chest carved through it as I inhaled regularly.