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Chapter 43

Jace's pov
I was in the bathroom upstairs. Forest was at work right now and there were four screaming kids down stairs. Not Forests brothers, but Marks nieces and nephews. Mark and Sean just got home after a long day of YouTube related outings. I was holding a small, beautiful, silver, sharp blade in my hand. It's been so long. I pulled up my shorts and boxers to revile my scared thighs. I haven't cut in months. I stand up and put the blade away. I walk out and lay on my bed, slowly drifting off to sleep.

Dream

"Racesa." I hear Daddy call

I run out of the kitchen and into the living room.

"Yes Daddy?" I ask

"Can you get daddy another beer?" He asks

"D-don't you think you've had enough Daddy?" I suggest

"Listen, I'm a big boy and if I say I want another beer then you got get me another damn beer!" He yelled

"Okay, I'm sorry." I say quickly and grab him another beer

I walk back to my room and play with the few toys I have. About half an hour later daddy comes in.

"Oh, Hi daddy." I said quietly

"Hello baby girl." He smirks

I feel his strong hands wrap around my shoulders.

"Ouch, Daddy that hurts!" I squeal

He doesn't listen and begins to kiss my neck.

"Daddy stop!" I yell

He throws me onto my bed and grabs two belts. He uses them to strap me to the bed.

"Daddy please, stop." I begged

"Then next time you yell or wine I'll whip you." He threatened

I felt him slide my pants off.

"Daddy, what are you doing?" I ask

He doesn't answer me, just plunges something inside of me. I squeal in pain. Quickly the thingy pulls out and I feel the whip come down on my back once, then twice, then three times, then the thingy goes back into me. I squeal multiple times throughout the whole thing. I feel warm sticky liquid begin to run down my legs. Then I feel daddy wiping me off. Then, the whip again.

"I warned you." He said as he cracked the whip down harder then ever before

I bite my pillow so I down scream. I soon feel blood run down my back and sides. Slowly I allow the pain to drift me off to sleep.

Dream end

I shot up in bed. My breathing heavy. I would Forest up as well. I swung my feet over the side of the bed and ran to the bathroom. I need to cut. I can't cut, Forest will get so upset. I don't care, I NEED to cut now! I pulled the blade out of its hiding place and pull up my pants. Very quickly I press the blade down and drag it across my thigh. I can hear Forest calling my name but I ignore him. I need this to much. I have about six really good cuts when the blade is taken from me. I look up and see Forest crying. Damn it me! You hurt him!

"Baby, please, what's wrong?" He cried

"I'm sorry." Is all I could say

"Let's get you cleaned up. Those look really deep." He stated

I watched as he wiped them off. I smiled at how deep they were. It took Forest almost fifteen minutes to get the bleeding to slow down enough to bandage it. I just smiled.

"What's wrong?" He asked

"Just...a bad dream." I sighed

"What do you mean?" Forest asked

"A-about Mike and.... The first time he...." I started crying as my breathing quickened

"Hey, hey you're okay, calm down baby." He said softly rubbing my back

"The dream was about the first time he rapped me." I said quickly

Forest kinda sat there for a minute, probably trying to figure out what to say. It took him a long time before he was ready to speak but by then I felt so exhausted from my cuts bleeding.  Forest helped me to our room and we went back to sleep. I pulled him close and kept him there. Finally, morning came.

"Jace, wake up." Forest said

"What time is it?" I asked

"5." He told me

"5am?" I wined

"No, 5pm. It's time for supper." Forest told me

"I slept in that late?!" I said jumping out of bed but quickly falling

"Babe, you've been asleep for almost two days." Forest said softly. " Let me help you. You really hurt yourself."

"Shit... I'm sorry baby." I said sadly

"Hey, it's alright. Now how about you go eat some food." He said smiling

"Okay." I smiled walking down stairs

"Hey dude. How yah feeling?" Mark asked

"Um, shitty I guess. Where's the kids?" I asked

"My brother came to get them yesterday. He wanted to check on you." Mark explained

"Oh." I said

We sat at the table when Chance came down stairs.

"Hey little buddy!" I smiled

He rubbed against my leg. I pet his head and then continued eating. We talked about what happened a little but I didn't tell them as much as I did Forest. After supper Forest and I went back upstairs and I updated my YouTube and just letting my viewers know that I was alright. I just let them know that I was really sick and couldn't upload. I got lost of comments mentioning the bags under my eyes or how I'd since every so often if I sat the wrong way. I got a few comments mentioning Mark of Sean were off in their live stream yesterday and how I wasn't on it and they missed me. It was kind of sweet to be honest. Then Forest and I went to sleep. I prayed for no more nightmares. I didn't want to cut like that Infront of Forest again. That's a nightmare all on its own and I can only imagine what he's going through now.