Semester in Space BxB (Staten Krown)

14

It's the day that people are going to Mars. The red planet is large in front of us. It reflects a beauty that just makes me think of something huge. I'm standing there on the star bridge.

"You should come to the docking module," Dre tells me.

He walks up behind me. I haven't been the same since I hurt Jax. I can't get him out of my mind and I can't fake it. Dre is great. He's more than great. I know he's trying with me but I had to pull teeth to get him here. Jax was willing to give me what I wanted all along.

I can't get him out of my mind.

"Why would I do that?" I ask Dre.

"Everyone's going there to say wish the people going to Mars good luck," Dre explains to me.

I shrug, "Dre, I don't give a shit."

"Your home girl Kaysha is one of those people."

"I wished Kaysha good luck already."

"Mario---you're avoiding the docking module aren't you?" Dre asks.

Sometimes I forget that Dre is my best friend and not just a regular love interest. He walks up behind me and he grabs me. I can feel his breath on the back of my neck. A part of me welcomes it but the most part of me just wished that this was Jax walking up behind me...grabbing me.

"I just don't want to go ok," I tell Dre.

"It's because he's going to Mars too isn't it?"

Dre is talking about Jax. I know he's talking about Jax. I've avoided Jax like the plague and Jax has avoided me. The difference was he was probably avoiding me because he hated me. I was avoiding him simply because I couldn't deal with him.

"Dre...Pia made me not talk to him. She told me that if I didn't break his heart that she would keep you in jail."

"So?" Dre asks.

"So? Is that all you have to say?" I ask.

Dre sighs a little bit, "Listen. If you want me to sit here and pretend like I'd prefer to be locked up in jail while you polly around with this dude you are mistaken. You made the right choice as far as I'm concerned."

I shake my head and start moving away, "Fuck--you sound so fucking selfish right now."

I hate the fact that I care about him. Not even as a lover but as a friend. I'm in this impossible situation to save him and he doesn't even have any sort of empathy for me.

"Think about it," Dre says holding me so I won't move, "If we were back on Earth do you think a guy like Jax Christopher would ever give you a second look? Let's be real."

"I can't believe you. I'm just not shit in your eyes huh?"

Dre shakes his head, "I'm your best friend and I'm telling you how it is. We are poor kids from Compton. We can sit here and have this fairytale like we are in this world with the Dollhouse if we want but that's not the case. Those people are worth millions each. We aren't in the same tax bracket and once we get back to Earth he would have dropped you anyway."

"Fuck..."

I find myself leaning up against the glass. It hurts. It fucking hurts Dre talking to me about this. But the more I come to think about it maybe he is right. I mean Jax and me weren't the same. On this space station we were isolated. We became more equal. Truth is though we were no where near equal and he'd realize that one day.

"You know I'm telling you the truth," Dre tells me.

"Stay out of my mind," I respond.

He reads me so fucking well. Dre knows what I'm thinking before I think it.