Why Can't You Love Me (old version // out dated)

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

I knew that one day something like this would happen. I knew one day my reality would crumble into pieces around me mixing the real and fake together. Breaking the walls that I had set in place to hold it as long as I could.

I've lived a long life and shouldn't died a very long time ago. My body fixes itself, no wounds or scars appearing after I became this monster that feeds on humans. But just because my body couldn't break didn't mean my mentality wouldn't eventually.

It had only been a matter of time before it happened.

Who would've guessed that it would be because of a bunch of dogs.

Dogs -- no they weren't dogs but some type of werewolves. Wolves that could change at their will. Wolves that were just as big as bears and teeth just as sharp as mine.

I had never ran into their kind before. It was impossible to imagine that something like them could exist and that I never ran into it much like the Cullens. I've lived for a thousand years and shouldn't have been surprise to find them.

I should've known about them before now.

How do I know that they're real?

Maybe Klaus had finally achieved his goal and this was all but a dream.

Could I be making this up in my own mind?

Was it possible for someone to imagine the impossible?

For almost a year I had lived with the Cullen's. I laughed with them. Feed with them. Hunted with them. Protected their home with them.

I fall in love with on of them.

I went to school with them.

Had that all been fake. Did none of that really happen?

Did I imagine chasing after Edward? Did I imagine his charming smile that melted my heart?

Had I imagined Mike and his humanness? Did I imagine him accepting me?

Does that mean I even imagined the wolves? Was Sam and his pack fake?

Did they not exist like everything else around me?

"Carlisle?"

Was their worry and concern fake as well?

Could I really believe that Esme wasn't a real caring vampire whose heart reached out to everyone in her family? Her eyes would hold worry and pain when one of her children were in danger. She would smile and show me a new dish that she had made.

Was that all fake?

How can I tell reality from imaginary?

"Jasper." I blinked, looking around to see that they were all still standing around me.

My eyes fall on the male that I called out to, his golden eyes closer to black then the rest of his family. I knew even if this wasn't real that he was feeling everything that I was at that moment.

Maybe he would finally help me understand.

Jasper approached me with caution. My lips tugged towards a smile before falling back down. It's not like I was about to hurt the male.

Not psychical at least and not on purpose.

"Yes Belle?" Alice stood up and moved next to him, their hands interlocking.

My eyes moved from them and back to the wall that I had been staring at. "You're able to feel everyone around you to a point. Does that mean that you're able to tell reality from imaginary?" I asked, curios.

As his answer took longer then I thought it would I looked away from the wall and towards him. His eyebrows were knotted together, his eyes holding confusion.

"I would." He agreed at last.

I wonder about that.

"So does that mean everything around us is real? That those things exist as well?" I asked, willing to allow his answer to guide me on rather or not I'd believe this was real or not.

Until I could figure it out for myself I was willing to trust him to do it for me.

He took a moment considering the answer. "Yes." He said at last.

I nodded, my head dropping.

For now then this was my reality. For now this wasn't just some dream I made up with Klaus staking me at the end. For now the wolves really existed and they could shift whenever they wanted.

I didn't feel relieved.

I didn't feel happy.

I didn't feel disappointed.

I just felt calm and accepting. I accepted the fact that for now I would live in this strange world that was so different from mine even if we shared it.

"Okay." My thoughts shifted rearranging everything as I settled with that idea. "Great! So I'm hungry. Anyone else?" I asked, a grin forming on my face I stood to my feet and clapped my hands together. "I hear there's some good cheeseburgers calling my name in town."

I knew that Jasper would see past the smile and my sudden cheerfulness. He would know what I was really feeling. But the others would think I felt better after his answer.

That I was the same old me who's reality had once been intact.