The Phoenix Diaries (ONGOING)

Chapter 7

       Swoosh! Is the first thing I hear on Sunday morning.

       The first thing I see is my mom's head towering over me.

       "Do you know what today is?" Mom asks.

       "Sunday?" I yawn.

       "Exactly! Why aren't you up yet, Phoenix?" She questions.

       "I don't know, maybe I didn't hear my alarm?" I reply.

       "Bullshit. Alright, get your ass downstairs right now or you're going to miss breakfast." Mom says.

       I turn to my phone and see that I did set my alarm. I only slept through it.

       Anyway, the reason my family wakes up so early on Sunday is because of church. We're super religious. Not that there's a problem with that but Church is a Sunday thing, no matter what. My family doesn't care if you were busy last night and did not have the time or energy to wake up the next morning. They don't give a shit. Church is what's really important.

       "Better pray to black Jesus real hard today, Phoenix." Suggests Shiloh.

       "Why?" I ask.

       "You're going to need it with this modeling thing. You've been doing all this shit because of luck. Hate to break it to you, sis, but you'll never be pretty enough to model." She explains.

       "Shh!" Mom shushes Shiloh and I.

       I feel offended by my sisters words. I know she's joking but at the same time, they hurt. It's kind of like when you know something's true but it hurts to admit it. But I take her advice and pray to my good friend Black Jesus. Heaven only knows that I need it.

After church, my family and I spend the day with my grandparents and twin cousins, Amani and Gabrielle. It's just a tradition. They're stories are sad though. Amani and Gabrielle were about to get aborted when my mom's grandmother made her daughter have the babies. After having the kids and having no father to help raise them, their mom left. Now, our grandparents have taken care of the twins. Their mom would probably be proud of her daughters. They're really attractive. They have really clear dark skin, deep brown eyes, and they're both thin and tall.

       "What's new with you, Phoenix?" Asks Grandma Claudia.

       "Nothing much,' I shrug,' it's only been a week since you last saw me."

       "Don't talk like that, pumpkin. A lot can change in a week. We ain't ever know what God has in store for us." Says Grandma.

"Stop acting like nothing happened, Phoenix." Scoffs Shiloh.

"What do you mean?" Asks grandma.

I pull my sister to the side.

"What are you doing?" I ask through gritted teeth.

"Grandma's a part of the family, right? Don't she deserve to know?" Asks Shiloh.

There's this thing about my grandmother. She doesn't support any careers that have to do with having a media presence. This includes music, acting, and especially modeling. Why? She believes these careers are the devils work and anyone doing them will be sent to hell.

"First of all, grammar. Second of all, you know how grandma gets, Shiloh. She'll lose her shit." I say.

"You gotta stop getting like that. Grandma isn't going to react like that. She's the sweetest woman in the world. I'm gonna tell her." Says Shiloh.

"You know that's not true! Shiloh! Shiloh, get back here!" I demand.

"Oh, Phoenix is just modest, grandma. Something big did happen to her over the week." Says Shiloh.

"Oh, well what is it?" Asks Grandma.

"Grandma, it's really no big deal." I lie.

"Phoenix, it's a huge deal. Grandma, Phoenix got scouted for modeling and got cast in her first fashion show!" Exclaims Shiloh.

"Oh my God, that's great!" Exclaims Gabby.

"Oh my God, yes queen! Congrats, cuz!" Exclaims Amani.

Grandma, on the other hand, has an opposite reaction.

"What?" She asks through gritted teeth.

       I stay quite. This is exactly why I didn't want Shiloh to say anything.

       "What are you thinking, girl? You want to go to the devil?" She screams.

       "Grandma, no, I-besides, you ain't even pretty enough to model." Grandma says.

       "Mom!" Gasps mom.

       I'm done with hearing that shit. I run inside and position myself over the toilet. I bend down and then I throw up.