Expressing Thoughts-J.D

-68-

"Did you know there's a beach here called divorce beach?" I said as I laid on my lounger on the beach. Josh's head snapped to me, he didn't look amused.

"Should we hit that before or after lunch?" He played along, I chuckled and reached over for his hand which he gladly took. "Come 'ere" he squeezed my hand. I got off my lounger and squeezed next to him on his. Neither of us cared that it was boiling hot.

"Do you think anyone recognises you here?" My curiosity took over me. Josh closed his eyes under his sunglasses and let out a deep breath.

"Maybe a few but not many." He answered honestly. I placed my hand on his chest and stroked it slightly.

"Brendon texted me, telling me that he got asked to take a photo of someone the other day on the beach." He let out a snort and I felt it in his chest.

"That would happen to him" he chuckled. I ran my leg along his, I loved laying next to him so much.

We both woke up really disoriented a couple of hours later, sweaty and clung to each other on one sun lounger. The sun had now moved so the umbrella didn't cover us and we took it as a sign that we should go back to our room for a bit.

I walked through the door and straight out into the balcony. Josh went to have a shower since he was all sweaty and gross. I started flicking through my texts and replying to some people I had been ignoring. Didn't want another Jess situation.

"Baaaabe" Josh called out, he sounded drunk. I waited for him to come out onto the balcony which he did, naked.

"Joshua!" I squealed. "There are people around here" I leapt up and covered him with my body.  He grinned down at me cheekily. I turned him around and pushed him into the room.

"Come on! Let's make a baby!" He grinned but I stopped smiling at that point. I assumed we had put the child conversations to bed by now. He noticed this and let out a sigh. "Come on Sage." He said as if I didn't get his joke.

"I knew you weren't ok with it." I walked to the closet and threw a pair of shorts at him. He put them on.

"What am I not ok with?" He asked, I looked at him as if he were stupid.

"Me, not being ready for a baby yet. Why didn't you just tell me? Then we couldn't talked about it" I stressed. He sat on the bed and stared at me.

"What would we have talked about? You have made up your mind. I just don't get it, you were ready before" I took in a deep breath, trying not to get too angry.

"Before the miscarriage? Before our baby died inside of me?" I spat, he rolled his eyes as if this was old news.

"Jesus Sage." I laid back down on the bed. Now I was pissed, he wasn't even saying anything.

"I'm not a fucking baby machine Josh. When one malfunctions I can't just pop out another one" he sat back up and gave me a death stare.

"Sage." The fact that he was just saying my name was pissing me off. He had nothing else to say other than my name as if he had no opinion or as if he didn't really care about the situation.

"Stop just saying my name. Tell me how you feel!" I yelled. He took in a sharp breath and then stood up quickly.

"I know you aren't ready but I can't help that I am. I will wait Sage but you can't flinch every time someone mentions the subject." He started.

"You didn't just mention the subject Josh. You said to me 'let's make a baby'." I fought, he ran his hands through his hair.

"I didn't realise how touchy you were about it. I thought we agreed happy accident baby." He said nonchalantly.