Expressing Thoughts-J.D

-16-

We had only been home a few days before I was kicking Josh out for the night. I was hosting a girls night since Lillie was visiting from Arizona. I had laid out snacks and movies, brought out every sort of throw and bed covers I had so I could make a comfy den for us all. Josh helped set it all up but he was going to stay with Tyler for the night so they could have a guys night.

"Tyler and I will be back in the morning so no sneaking out" Josh had been acting like a dad all day, some of the time he was joking but the other times he was actually worried I would break something. I pushed him towards the door, nodding my head at everything he said.

"Josh come on, you know if anything goes wrong you would be the first person I call" I said, he was clutching his gym bag as he opened the door to leave.

"I love you, have a great night" he smiled, I kissed him goodbye.

"I love you too, say hi to Tyler for me" I grinned.

"Oh yeah say hi to Lillie for me, try to keep her so I can see her in the morning" he mentioned. I nodded to let him know that I had understood, he kissed me hard one last time before letting me push him out the door. I let out a deep breath and prepared myself for a night without Josh. As if on cue a text came through on my phone from the one and only himself.

'Love you x' he texted.

'Love you too, go have fun' I replied before shoving my phone in my pocket.

Jenna was the first to arrive which made me breathe a sigh of relief, she could check if I had everything and fix it if I didn't. She also brought some home made cookies which I would die for. We fixed up the house a bit more before Sarah arrived with Jess, I decided to invite Jess so she could become part of our little group. I poured everyone drinks and we all sat and chatted before Lillie arrived.

"Lillie!" I screamed as I opened the door.

"Sage! Oh my god I've missed you!" She squealed as she jumped into my arms. I squeezed her so tightly, I had missed my best friend. I put her down after a while so everyone could hug her and squeal and then we introduced her to Jess. I knew she was a huge Logic fan so she instantly became relaxed with Jess.

I bought a load of alcohol so we could make cocktails, we put on some loud music and started mixing all the drinks together until we had one huge mess that tasted quite good. We danced all through the house, I made sure to film some of it so I wouldn't forget it in the morning and put it on my instagram story.

At the start of the night, I had a huge jumper and shorts on but after dancing and drinking wildly I changed quickly into a cropped tank top so I was much cooler. All the other girls did the same and we decided to turn the music down and lay around for a bit.

"So Lillie, hows married life treating you?" Jenna asked as she handed her a mojito. I took a sip of my concoction and waited for her reply.

"Shane's amazing, we have this great house in Arizona and Shane is loving his new job" she said before quickly sipping her drink.

"What about you?" I asked, everyone looked at me as if that wasn't a valid question to ask but everyone must've have seen that she didn't actually answer Jenna's question.

"Do you have a job? What do you do while Shane is at work?" I asked, she shrugged.

"I joined a Pilates class but all the girls are drug addicts and rude as fuck." She started, we all laughed at her but I felt sadness that she was so far away from everyone.

"What about moving to LA?" I suggested.

"We moved to Arizona to be closer to my family, it would be a huge punch in the gut if we moved away from them" she shrugged. Sarah decided to take the attention off Lillie as she was clearly not ready to talk about all this and instead turned her head towards me.

"So, when are you and Josh getting married?" She asked bluntly. Everyone laughed but then waited for my answer. I threw my head back and groaned as they all laughed.

"Come on Sage, it's gonna happen one day and he just turned twenty nine! What are you waiting for?" Jenna pushed.

"I don't know, it's not really my choice is it?" I secretly let them know that I'm waiting. They all went silent before Jess gasped.

"You want to, don't you! You want him to ask you!" She almost stood up with excitement. I held my cheeks in embarrassment as they all squealed. I made eye contact with Jenna who looked genuinely proud. I don't think she thought this day would come and to be honest neither did I.

"Alright alright! At Christmas his mom was, you know, being a mom and urging both of us. Her and I started talking wedding plans and I don't know...I got excited." I explained, they all awed.

"Have you indicated anything at Josh whatsoever, you know he's an idiot when it comes to these things" Jenna mentioned, everyone watched me in anticipation. I realised I was the only non-married one here and suddenly I was scared. I took a deep breath as i then realised I was surrounded by my best friends who just want me to be happy.

"I did mention my conversation I had with his mom...but like I said it's really up to him now" I felt so embarrassed but also really drunk. They all awed before Lillie chimed in.

"I think you need to hint at him, you've told him before that you want to wait so maybe he thinks you still do" she added.

"I know he's ready, he's told me he is at your wedding Lil" I remembered.

"You know what, I think he will get to a point where he will grow impatient and just pop the question. Men are like that" Sarah giggled, she was clearly drunk as well.

"If he burst in right now and asked you what would you say?" Jess asked, they all 'ooh'ed at her good question but it made me so uncomfortable.

"I guess...yes" I blurted, they all screamed. I could see them planning my wedding in their heads already.

We watched soppy movies and complained about how our partners weren't like the guys in the movies. Josh was perfect to me but it was fun to complain sometimes. We ate take out Chinese food before all getting ready to do our night routines.

I stood in my bathroom as I put on my moisturisers and began to get my toothbrush to brush my teeth. Jenna stumbled in, all giggly so I put my toothbrush. She hugged me tightly and kissed my cheek.

"Oh Sage I'm so sorry" she mumbled.

"Why?" I laughed, not thinking anything of it.

"I really thought he was going to pop the question on holiday" she laughed. "I am never wrong about these things. I don't know why he's not doing it" she kissed my cheek again.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm only just getting used to the idea of it, let alone it actually happening" I held her face to keep her from falling.

"Love you" she grabbed my toothbrush and stared to get ready for bed alongside me.

I checked my phone quickly before entering the living room again. I had a text from Josh which made me smile.

'Hope you are having a good time, remember I'm coming in the morning ;)'

I replied with a simple I miss you and I love you before running back into my living room where my friends were all talking in our little fort.

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I felt a pressure against my lips, I opened my eyes to see a smiling Josh above me. My head pounded immediately and I let out a huge moan.

"I see you drank our alcohol supply" he laughed, I saw Tyler cuddling a sleeping Jenna and decided I wanted that. I pulled Josh on top of me but he slipped to the side, I cuddled him while he let out a heavy chuckle.

"Sorry Josh, I'll buy some more today. I love you" I kissed his cheek, my eyes still closed. He tightened his grip around me while I dosed in his arms.

I never wanted to have to get used to not having this and I prayed every night that I wouldn't have to. I really did want to marry Josh, the thought made me fill with excitement. We were at such a good place I couldn't see why not...so why not?