Counting stars (A Riker Lynch and Ross Lynch fanfic)

Chapter 18 I love you, Goodbye

I'm baaaack, people! I know it has taken me ages to write a new chapter and I'm really sorry for leaving it with a cliffhanger for so long, but now the wait is over! I hope you enjoy this chapter and I'm gonna do my best to update sooner next time. But for now, Enjoy!

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“So what you’re saying is…” he stopped mid sentence, looking at me with anticipation.

“I love you, Riker”

>> 

”I thought I would never hear you say those words to me” he said with a huge grin. “I love you too. But you knew that already” he said and we both chuckled. But the smile on his face quickly disappeared and he suddenly seemed worried. “But…Ross” he said, giving me a guilty look. I had no idea what to say to Ross. “I don’t know what to do” I whispered, feeling guilty as well. “That’s up to you. I will always be there for you no matter what. If Ross makes you happy, then you should stay with him. You deserve to be happy, and I want the best for you. No matter what happens, I’ll be here and I’ll understand. There’s a reason you chose Ross in the first place, right?” Riker explained and tried to smile. “I can’t do this to him. I can’t keep pretending that there’s nothing between us. These words can never be unsaid, and I have to do something. I would never have started dating Ross if I knew you liked me.” I told him. He looked confused. “What do you mean?” he asked. “I didn’t think you were interested.” I explained. “I thought that was pretty obvious. At least after that time we almost kissed.” He said. “We ALMOST kissed. You pulled away, so I thought you just made a mistake.” “What about that time I spent the night at your place? It went a little further than just kissing that time.” “Yes, but once again you pulled away before anything happened. I just blamed it on hormones.” “I pulled away both times because of Ross. You two were together. I didn’t want to mess up something that made you happy.” He said.

That was when I realized how right he actually was. Ross does make me happy. I know my feelings for Riker are stronger, but what if I mess everything up with Ross and it doesn’t work out between me and Riker. Then I would have lost both my boyfriend and my best friend. And how am I even supposed to do this to Ross after all I said about me and Riker only being friends. This would destroy his relationship between both me and Riker. I have no idea what to do.

“We have messed up big time, haven’t we” Riker suddenly asked and broke the silence. He stood up and kicked a rock across the whole playground, covered his face with his hands and mumbled “damn!” into his hands as they slid down his face, only covering his mouth and nose now. He turned and looked at me. For a long while we were just staring at each other, trying to read each other’s minds or expression, until Riker lightly shook his head. “We can’t do this to him. He is crazy about you. We really can’t do this to him” he said without breaking eye contact. “This is seriously fucked up!” I mumbled and sighted. “What are we supposed to do? Just pretend like nothing is going on?” I asked. “I don’t really know what else to do” he replied and shrugged. “Can we do that?” I asked him again. “I guess we just have to try” he sighted.

I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to pretend like nothing is wrong, but Riker is right. We have to try. Riker held his hand out for me. I took it and he pulled me back up on my feet. “Let’s just go home and…think…about stuff” Riker said with a sad smile. “Home as in my place” he continued as he realized why we were at the playground in the first place. I slightly nodded and followed him.

Ross, Ryland and another brown haired dude were sitting in the living room when we entered. As Ross noticed us he jumped off the couch and came over to me. He pulled me in and gave me a quick peck on the lips. “Are you feeling better already?” he asked with a smile. “A little” I replied and tried my best to smile back. “So this is the girlfriend you’re always talking about” the brown haired guy said. I hadn’t even noticed him coming up to us. “Yep!” Ross replied sounding a bit proud to show me off. “Hi, I’m Rocky. I’m the fourth brother” he smirked. “I’m Becca.  Jesus Christ, how many brothers do you have?” I asked. They all chuckled. “It’s only us four… and our sister, Rydel, but she’s out with mum and dad right now” Ross answered. “Four brothers and one sister? Poor girl!” I said, causing everybody to laugh.