Luke and me

Get out of my life

~ EMMA'S PERSPECTIVE ~

I find myself dreaming, or maybe it's flashbacks, I don't know. Right now I can't see the differens. Luke's running after me fast, it hurts in my foot, and I can't find the energy to run anymore. I hug Ashton and runs away from Luke. They talk about something, I don't know what. Then I see white lights, like I get a headlight in my face. I open my eyes.

Doctors and nurses are coming into the room. They watching my heartbeats and so on. Then they talk a little about how long I've been gone, which were for a while. Then they say, that first they thought I had a start of epilepsy, but it was just some panic attacks and I would get some calming medication when I get really stressed up.

"Do you want to meet your parents?" On of the nurses says. Mum and dad. I haven't even thought about them. Hell, it must have been expensive to have me at the hospital for this long time. And they must had it hard. Their child could have died. I nod. Then after five minutes or something they run into the room and hug me hard.

"Oh little Emma" Mum says and cries.

"We were so worried" dad says and we have our group hug.

"I'm fine now, just some panic attacks" I say and smile. We talk a little who I am going to meet after them, we decide that Ashton, Calum and Michael is the next ones. Never in my life I want to see Luke again. But the other guys are my bestfriends so I want to see them.

Waiting is a living hell. I look at my arms and legs. They're so thin. But I still have my drip. It sucks. Then the guys comes, everybody except Luke, just like I wanted.

"Hey girly girl!" Ashton says and runs to me and hug me.

"Hey" I say and smile.

"Hi Cal-Pal, hi Microwave" I say and blinks with one of my eyes.

"Hi" they say and sit on my bed. I look at their shoes and I don't know what to say.

"So how is it with..?" I start but Calum interrupts.

"Not good" He says.

"Okay. Just don't make him get here. Can you guys please keep an eye on him because I really don't want him here" I say and looks at them slowly.

"Yes" they say in a row.

"I probably should try to eat something" I say and take my crutches and Ashton drive the drip. Now it's just me and Ash.

"He did hurt me a lot. I never want to see him again. I mean, even though it was eighteen days ago, almost three weeks, it do hurt as much as it did that day. But I just trying to be calm and take my medication. Thank you Ash for being there for me" I say and me and Ash gets eye contact. Then he gives me a big hug.

"How he treated you wasn't right. And I'm really angry at him for th.." He begins but I interrupt him.

"Don't be angry at him. He haven't done something to you" I say and looking out the window.

"Well, I am. He promised to never treat you bad ever, and he actually has done something to me; hurt my bestfriend. And that's not okay" He says and takes my hand. Some tears squeeze out from my eyes and he whips them away.

"I can never have a boyfriend again" I say.

"You deserve someone who is honest, who believes in you, who treats you like a princess, because you're an amazing person and beautiful too. And you will find the right one someday" Ashton says and I want to believe he means it, but I have so hard to trust guys.

"This has happened three times now. I guess I really did love Luke. Because I've never had any panic attacks for being hurt. But he's an asshole, and don't please be angry at him, even though you think I deserve better. You're a band that has over two million fans, you can't let them down. Remember, everything actually started with a concert" I say, whip away the tears that falling down my cheeks and then try to smile against Ashton.

"I won't" he says and we say goodbye.

After another two weeks I got home from the hospital, this time not wearing crutches. But I'm on the edge to have anorexic. I think on Luke, all the time. This day, one week after I've come home I just listen to sad songs, specially Black Roses from the series of Nashville. My mum knocks at my shoulder, says that I have an important visit and that she will go to the store so I'm alone with the person. I turn around and see Luke. He close the door and I'm quiet, chocked because my mum actually let him in.

"I do never want to see you again. Get out of my house" I say, calmly but angry. I thought Ashton had said to him to never see me again.

"I really did meant when I said I loved you. Please Emma" he says and I see tears hiding in his eyes.

"Seriously Luke? Don't you see my arms and legs? I'm anorexic and it's your fault. I could die because of you, I still can. And I rather die than ever touch you again" I say and the tears squeezing out. He comes closer.

"I can't lose you Emma, okay?" He says and sits down on my bed, tries to reach my hand but I run out the door but he takes my hand, holds my body against the wall, he's so close that I actually know what he ate for lunch today.

"Please just listen" he says and a tear falls down his cheek.

"It's too late Luke" I say and cry. He lets me go and I take the bag with clothes he gave me and throw it on him. He tries to kiss me but I push him into the door of my closets and the things on the closets top falls down, a lot of clothes. He stands up and goes slowly too me.

"I love you Emma" he says. I get so mad and sad that I give him a slap and screams; "GET OUT!"

I take my calming medication so I won't break down again while he goes out.

"I wish I could've told you what happened" he says.

"OUT!" I scream and push him out.