I'm Broken but I'm fine

Part 24

LOUIS POV

"Harry!!!!!" I yell from downstairs.

"What, baby....what is it" Harry says as he frantically runs from upstairs, thinking something is wrong.

"Um......I'm hungry?" I say more like a question.

"Louis William" Harry scolds. "I thought something had happened to you!" He says.

"I know, it's the only way you would have come so quickly" I say cheekily.

"You watch your sassy tone Mr, you are lucky I love you" Harry says.

"I love you too" I smile.

Harry makes his way over to me and kisses me senseless. He pulls back leaving me breathless and wanting.

"That's not fair daddy" I tell him.

Harry smirks.

"Payback baby" he says.

I huff.

"What would you like to eat?" Harry asks me.

"Eat? Did I hear correctly Louis wants something to eat?" Zayn says as he walks over and ruffles my hair.

"No way!! We must be hearing things" Liam says from behind Zayn.

"Shut up" I whine.

The boys chuckle and Harry sets to making me breakfast. This last week I have faced my fear of sleeping and have been doing okay, I'm still getting nightmares of Noah and Nick and they are a regular occurrence but not every time I shut my eyes. Harry won't leave my side at night and I'm so thankful, I have a long way to go but I know I can do it. My appetite has slowly been returning too, The boys are over the moon to say the least and it makes me so happy when they praise me and tell me I'm doing well. It makes me want to keep going.

Harry takes out a bowl and starts mixing together pancake batter, when I realise what he is making I freeze and tears sting my eyes. I haven't made pancakes since Noah and I tried and failed, the night before he died. Zayn notices my pale face and reacts first.

"Lou? It's okay relax, we were just teasing". He tries to calm me.

"No.....it's not, it's not that" I struggle. I can feel myself going hot and clammy as the memories of that night return.

"What is it baby, talk to us Lou. Let us in" Harry says coming to stand in front of me too.

"Pancakes" I whisper.

"Yeah, I was going to make you pancakes with strawberries" Harry says gently, stroking my fringe off my forehead.

"Um.....Noah, Noah and I" I choke out.

"Shit, fuck Lou, I'm so sorry I completely forgot" Harry curses himself.

"Forgot what?" Liam asks confused.

"What happened?" Zayn asks.

Harry pulls out his phone and taps on a saved video. He turns it so we all can see, there is a 30 second video of Noah and I having our pancake fight, we are laughing and we stack it in the middle of the floor and laugh. The video ends with us smiling at each other.

"Lou" Zayn says.

"I'm sorry baby, I didn't realise" Harry says.

"It's okay Haz, can I, can I see it again? Please?" I ask and he smiles and hands his phone over.

I grab the phone and sit on the floor in the corner. The boys go back to cooking and I watch the video on repeat, I'm crying but I find myself laughing too. I miss Noah so much.