I'm Broken but I'm fine

Part 16

LOUIS POV.

I wake up screaming, the image of Nick's dead eyes and the sound of gunshots ringout through my dream. I look to my left for Harry, but he isn't in bed and I panic. I scramble off the empty bed and race downstairs. My heart is going a million miles a minute, I need Harry or one of the boys. The boys must of heard me because when I make it to the bottom of the stairs Zayn is racing towards me, Harry hot on his tail. I lunge for Zayn and he grabs me so hard, he brings my safely into his chest.

"Shhhhh, it's okay shhhhhh" he whispers.

"He's dead Zayn......I didn't even know him and it's killing me, make it stop please" I beg him.

"It's okay kiddo, I'll do anything you need me too babes" Zayn comforts me, holding me to him.

We stand in the middle of the room holding each other, Zayn comforting me. I see Harry slink back to the lounge room a slight smile on his face.

Zayn picks me up and walks to the lounge with me, Harry and the boys are all sitting on the couch. Zayn sits me between him and Harry but doesn't let Harry touch me. Harry understands that Zayn needs this right now. He brings me onto his lap, me straddling him and just holds me tightly.

"Fuck Louis, I was so scared we lost you kid, it was so close, I was so scared" he says and I can see his eyes shine with tears.

I hug him so hard and bury my head in his neck, he holds me tightly too him, one hand around my waist another behind my head.

"I'm sorry Z" I tell him honestly.

"I'm sorry too kid, I'm sorry this happened. It's not fair and I'm sorry" he tells me.

"If we had lost you Louis, I don't know what I would have done" he tells me.

"If it wasn't for you Z, I wouldn't be here, you kept me safe like you promised" I tell him.

"I just can't stop thinking about how close it was, I love you Louis, we all do. You are family, these last few weeks I've grown to love you like a little brother. I want to protect you and keep you safe and love you like a little brother should be loved. When I nearly failed at that, I nearly broke. I want you to know we wouldn't have known what to do if we'd have lost you" he tells me, tears streaming down his face.

"Zayn's right Louis, we love you and need you now you are in our lives" Liam says walking over and sitting next to Zayn hugging me too.

"Well, I can't be left out of this hug, uncle Niall needs one too" Niall jokes and comes over squashing us, trying to lighten the mood.

I giggle and Harry joins in on the massive hug too. We Pull apart and I settle down sharing a five way snuggle on the couch with the boys.

A few minutes of silence passes and I nearly drift off to sleep again, my head in Zayn's lap and my feet up on Harry. Liam's head is on Niall's lap and Niall's head on Harry's lap. When Zayn speaks up.

"Lou, you know you did promise me you would eat lunch of my choosing today" Zayn says.

Harry smiles and Liam pipes in.

"Thats true Lou, you even pinky promised" Liam says chuckling.

"Yeah but ......but......it's dinner time anyway" I say.

Harry snorts.

"Well technically yes but we haven't had lunch, so this is lunch and I choose pizza" Zayn says.

"I'm in" Niall jumps up and goes to order the pizza.

I sigh and sit up.

"It's okay baby, you can do this Lou" Harry tells me leaning closer to me.