I'm Broken but I'm fine

Part 22

LOUIS POV

Its two days later when I'm woken by the worst nightmare I've ever had. Noah was in it, calling my name over and over, pleading with me to save his life. Im hanging off the edge of the cliff trying to get to him before he gets shot but I'm not successful and the gun shot rings through the air. Instead of waking up like usual though, the nightmare keeps going, I see the whole thing. The explosion of his brains, the blood and the mess and I want to vomit, it makes me queazy even in my sleep. It doesn't just happen once though it happens over and over again, I see it happen over and over. The gunman comes over towards me and reaches out and unhooks my hands from the cliff and I'm falling again, into the water and I can feel the water around me. I can feel how hard it is to breathe, I'm struggling. I then hear Noah's voice calling me.

"Louis, why didn't you save me"

"Louis, I needed you"

"Louis, it should have been you, why me"

His voice is calling to me over and over again.

Then I hear new voices.

"Harry? What's happening" Andy asks.

I can hear a terribly annoying beeping sound, it won't stop and it's so loud.

"He won't wake up Andy and he isn't breathing right" Harry says panicked.

"Louis, come on buddy, come back Lou" Andy is hovering over me.

Suddenly there is a light shining in my eyes, I can see it but I can't react. I can't come back.

I start yelling for Harry and Andy but I won't wake up.

"Come on Lou, you can do it come back" I hear.

I struggle as best as I can and I manage to break the surface of water in my dream, I let out a huge gasp. My eyes fly open and I'm back In the hospital, tubes and drips and Harry and Andy. I can't settle down though I'm absolutely terrified.

"Louis, shhhhhh, calm down baby" Harry is saying.

My body won't let me though, he is reaching out to me trying to comfort me but I don't want it. My body is sweating and my breathing is harsh.

"You're back with us Lou, you're safe" Andy says.

Before I register what I'm doing I'm pulling all of the tubes out of me.

"Hey, hey, hey. Lou you can't do that buddy, everything is there to help you" Andy says gently.

I shake my head and I jump off the bed. Harry tries to steady me as I fall slightly but I push his hands away.

My breathing is ragged and I know I'm not in my dream but It's still flashing before my eyes. I pull the last tube out of my arm and the annoying beeping stops and I'm relieved.

"Lou" Harry says concerned.

"Just give him a bit of space H, just wait until he is fully back with us" Andy tells him.

I can hear them and see them but for some reason I'm not really registering them.

I look down at my arms and see spots of blood. I know it's from me pulling the drips and tubes out of my arms but something is telling me it's Noah's and I freak out even more, trying to get it off me.

"Louis, I need you to listen to my voice, this isn't real you are safe Harry and I are here" Andy says.

"Come on Lou,it's okay, I know you can come back to us" Harry says.

I then feel warm hands cup my cheeks and I see Harry, I look into his eyes and I see him, he is smiling.

"Good boy baby, come back I'm here, you are so safe baby, so safe with me" he tells me.