I'm Broken but I'm fine

Part 21

"Lou I need to tell you something" Harry says and I tense up with the the way he is looking at me.

"What....what is it?" I ask confused.

"It's.....you have a visitor" he tells me.

A visitor? That's strange who would want to visit me.

Harry stands up and lifts me up with him. He places me on the bed and I sit cross legged on top. Harry must have changed me into my black sweats and jumper while I was asleep.

"I'm going to go get him and I will leave you two alone for a little while okay" he tells me and I panic.

"It's okay, I promise you're safe" he says.

I nod at him and he kisses me.

"I'm going to get you some food okay, don't worry I won't be long" he says and I sigh.

"Okay" I tell him.

He leaves the room and I begin to fiddle with the blanket, my thoughts running all over the place. I'm Interrupted though.

"Louis?" A kind soft voice asks.

I look up to the doorway and I see a very handsome brown haired version of Noah, they have the same eyes, they could be twins.

"You're Jaxson aren't you?" I swallow.

"Yeah, it's so nice to finally meet you Louis, Noah used to go on and on about you" he tells me smiling.

"I......I..." I don't know what to say and my eyes water a little.

"It's okay Lou, I'm sorry for just showing up, It's nice to put a face to the name though" he says.

He walks over to the bed and sits down crossing his legs in front of me.

"I'm sorry Jaxson" I say croakily, not making eye contact.

"Hey, look at me Louis" he says seriously.

I pick my head up from where I'm looking at my hands and look into his eyes. They are a spitting image of Noah's.

"I came here to talk to you and to tell you, no one blames you, I don't blame you buddy, none of this was your fault okay" he tells me.

The tears flow freely then.

"It should have bbeeen me" I say.

"No it shouldn't have. I'm absolutely devastated Noah is gone but it should not have been you instead. He loved you like a little brother Louis and it would have killed him if you had gotten hurt" he tells me.

I choke on a sob.

"He, he made sure I was safe and okay, he kept me warm and he looked after me. He saved me Jaxson but I couldn't....I couldn't save him" I say wiping my tears away.

"Noah wouldn't have wanted you to get hurt Louis. He protected you for a reasons and I truly believe everything happens for a reason. We need to accept it and try to move on. I know it's hard but that's what Noah would have wanted" Jaxson says.

I look at him in the eyes and he slightly smiles at me. I then lunge for him and hug him tightly. He returns the hug with enthusiasm and we hold onto each other for a while and it feels nice, Noah would have liked this.

We pull back and Jaxson smiles at me.

"You know, Noah told me what an awesome skater you are" he says.

I blush.

"Not as good as Noah" I say.

"Well, you know where he learnt all his tricks from don't you" Jaxson says proudly.

"Let me guess, his amazing big brother?" I smile.

"Got it in one" Jaxson laughs.

I smile back at him.

"I can teach you some time? I'd love to take you to the bowl, before I go back to uni" Jaxson tells me.

"Really?" I ask surprised.

"Absolutely Lou, what do you say?" He asks.

"I'd love that....thank you" I smile.

Jaxson reaches out and ruffles my hair smiling.

We end up talking for a while longer, he tells me stories of Noah and we laugh together. When it's time for him to go he promises he will call me and take me to the bowl. We share one last hug and he leaves the room. Even though I will always feel guilty and I will never get over Noah's death, it makes me feel so much better that Jaxson doesn't blame me. I can see why Noah loved him so much and I know Noah would have loved that we met and shared so much.