I'm Broken but I'm fine

Part 17

"We told you not to come back until you aren't gay anymore" Seth spits at me.

"You are disgusting and pathetic Louis, just accept it" Sam tells me.

"You show your face around here again and it will be much, much worse.... got it!" James says.

They all exit the bathroom and I just stare at the wall. I want to cry but I have nothing left. I try to move but the pain cuts through my body and I can't.

I want Harry and the boys, I need Andy right now. I feel pathetic and I hate it. I have the urge to cut again, it's so so strong, I deserve the pain and that will never change. I have a new blade sitting in my backpack, just waiting....begging for me to use it. I then remember my bag is in my locker, a few frustrated tears fall down my cheeks.

I struggle to my feet and grab the sink to steady myself. I look in the mirror and my lip is busted open and my jaw and eye are bruised again. My ribs and back ache like crazy and I try to steady my breathing. I slowly make my way out of the bathroom, everyone is in class so no one sees me as I make my way out of the school. I walk to the train station ten minutes down the road, it takes me longer though as I'm so sore and I feel like my legs are going to give out at any second. When I reach the station I head underground, I head to a ticket booth and I pull out my wallet. I can sense eyes on me, I must look horrible, I know my shirt is covered in blood and my face looks pretty bruised up. I try to ignore the stares, I pay for a ticket to London, leaving in one hour. I find a spot on the bench and bring my knees to my chest as I wait for the train. My phone flashes in my pocket and I pull it out to see my mums name flashing across the screen. I ignore it and ten minutes later Anne's name flashes. The school has probably contacted them, letting them know I've skipped again. I know I'm going to be in such deep shit for this, I'll be yelled at again and probably grounded for life. I don't really care though, I just need to get to Harry. I know Harry and the boys will know what to do. When the train pulls into the station I don't even look back as I board the two hour train ride, I find a seat and curl up on myself. I just hope Harry won't be angry at me for running off.

it takes me three and a half hours to get to the boys apartment. After the train ride, I find a taxi and get dropped off outside the apartment. I rush inside as best I can, I need to stay out of the open, Stinger is still out there and I need to be careful.

I ride the lift to the top floor and make my way to the boys door. I knock three times but no one answers. I sigh and turn around so my back is against the wall and slide down hitting the floor harshly. I'm bruised and my body hurts so badly. I pull my knees up to my chest wincing as I do. I bury my head in my knees and breathe. I'm exhausted but I can't fall asleep, I know I'll be woken by a nightmare and I don't want that again, I can't deal with that again.... I just want Harry.

After what feels like ages I hear the lift doors open.

"No mum, I haven't seen him, how could you let this happen for fuck sake" Harry is yelling.

"He ran away because you treat him like he doesn't matter!" Harry yells.

"I'm going to look for him, I'll let you know if I find him. You bloody better hope the boys and I do" he yells and hangs up angrily.

I lift my head to see, the boys all walking down the hall. Niall sees me first.

"Lou" he yells.

The boys all turn to look at me.

"Jesus, thank fuck Louis" Zayn yells.

Harry races over to me and bends down in front of me.

"Oh baby, no....I'm so sorry....Jesus" he says as he takes in my appearance.