I'm Broken but I'm fine

Part 12

"Um no anything is fine, thanks" I say.

I excuse my self while the boys are busing around and I head to my room. I'm not sure if I'll be sleeping in here or with Harry. Harry slept every night with me at the hospital but he might not want to do that, now we are actually home. I go to my bed and lay down and pick up my phone that's on the nightstand. I have a few texts from my mums asking how I'm feeling, I quickly reply and tell them I'm fine. I then see I have a text from Noah, we have been messaging everyday and he always checks in to see how I'm doing, we have become quite good friends.

"Hey Lou, Just wondering if you want to hang out tomorrow, if you're up for it"

I smile at the text, I really can't wait to hang out with him again. I go to text back and I remember how upset Harry was the last time I hung out with Noah. I figure I should go and ask him if it's okay before I respond. I walk slowly down the stairs to the kitchen and the Chinese has just arrived. The bags are all on the kitchen table and the boys are rifling through them hungrily.

"Oh, that's mine Z, I ordered the beef!!" Niall yells as Zayn laughs and runs off, Niall chasing him.

"I ordered two Niall here is yours" Liam laughs as Niall grins and walks over claiming his meal.

"Love you Li" he says kissing him on the cheek.

"So any more leads on this case Li?" Harry asks.

"Nope, nothing as of yet, we are looking forward to you getting back to work, we have missed you and your brain this week" Liam tells Harry.

"Yeah, I'm looking forward to getting back into it too. I'm not looking forward to leaving Lou though" Harry says.

Butterflies erupt in my stomach at his words, I forgot Harry was heading back to work tomorrow. He took an extra week off to be with me in the hospital.

"Hey Harry?" I ask timidly as I walk into the kitchen.

"Yeah baby?" Harry says.

He is dividing food amongst two plates and I assume one of them is for me.

"Um, you know how you are going back to work and everything?" I say.

"Yeah" he says, spooning some chicken dish on both plates.

"Well, Noah wants to hang out tomorrow with me, can.......can we hang out.... please?" I ask.

The other three boys head to the lounge room with their dinner, obviously sensing a confrontation and not wanting to be involved. Harry takes a deep breath and looks at me.

"Lou, I know you like Noah and he is a great guy, but at the moment.....until we are sure he isn't a target, I would prefer you stayed clear of him" Harry says calmly.

I sigh.

"I thought you would say that, it's just....he is the first friend I've had in ages, like, he actually wants to hang out with me. And I really like him" I say.

"I know kid, but I need you safe Lou, Stingers gang knows your name and I don't want you exposed to that. I need to know you are safe at all times.... so that means no Noah" Harry says.

I look at the floor and nod a little. I'm so disappointed, I want to cry. But I won't, I know Harry is coming from a good place, it's just so frustrating.

Harry sighs and hands me my plate. It's loaded with food and it makes me uneasy. We go and sit in the lounge room with the boys.

I sit with the plate on my lap and pick at my food. As far as I've come with my cutting and my emotions, I still don't have an appetite. I'm just not hungry and this greasy looking food makes me nauseous just looking at it.